MY PERCEPTIONS

.

-N.V.Madhusudan Chary

SO/F, HWB, Department of Atomic Energy

V floor, VS Bhavan, Anushaktinagar, MUMBAI-94.

Mobile; 09869872787, nvmchary@mum.hwbdae.org

martintech8@yahoo.co.in

My attempt to write this is not meant for bringing out any new thing. All the information given here is known to all, at least to elders. It is only the compilation work of life issues. I request all to bring out deviations from the truth or reality, if any, to my notice. Unless centripetal and centrifugal forces work in opposite direction circular motion is not possible. Constructive criticism does this job of putting me in right orbit.

No controller starts working unless it sees an error. Since human errors are inevitable an efficient human controller is required. The life road of human vehicle has lot of speed breakers which may some time turn to be spine breakers. Such disturbances are to be controlled and confined to no pain or at least to low pain boundaries.

Ultimate goal is to complete the journey with pleasure or no pain or at least with low pain.

If precision and elaboration are not meeting the requirement of the reader mail those points to me in addition to any other social issues to be covered.

All the fruits of the tree may not be sweet. Please ignore the bitter one & I swear to modify / delete them if informed.

It is worth mentioning the statement of GB Shaw -

“A reasonable man tunes himself to the world,

An unreasonable tunes the world to him.

So, all the progress depends on unreasonable man.”

NVM Chary

INDEX

Sl. No.	Topic	Page no.
	IMPULSE-RESPONSE-RESULT	7
	MANTRA	12
	HAPPINESS	14
	IS GOD THERE	20
	MOTHER TONGUE	21
	FRANKNESS	24
	CONCEPTUAL THINKING	25
	FIRST HAND INFORMATION REPORT	26
	ARGUMENT OR DISCUSSION	28
	ANGER MANAGEMENT	30
	LIFE ARTS.	34
	WHETHER THE CROW COULD GET WATER?	35
	RESPONSE	36
	STRESS – PHOBIA	41
	ANXIETY	44
	GANDHI ALSO HAD GODSE	46
	MOTIVATION	48
	STRESS-ANXIETY-DEPRESSION	54
	AFFECTION-FRIENDSHIP	57
	BODY & SOUL	60
	EXPECTATION	63
	WIDTH OR DEPTH OF KNOWLEDGE	69
	WASTE	71
	BEST ONE IS THE FIRST IMPRESSION.	73
	SELF ACTUALIZATION	75
	SOCIAL SET POINT	77
	CREATIVITY	81
	CHANGE	93
	RESPECT	95
	JOVIAL	98
	VIEWING ANGLE	101
	CAUSE & EFFECT	104
	PROBLEM SENSITIVITY	107
	TIME DEMANDING ISSUES	111
	DESIRE-EDUCATION-CRIME	115
	RECOGNITION	118
	TRAINING	121
	DETACH	123
	INSTANTANEOUS MEASUREMENT	125
	AGGRESSIVENESS	127
	BIAS (PREJUDICE)	129
	FORGIVENESS / TOLERANCE	130
	IMAGINATION	134
	UNIT HEAD	136
	MUSIC	139
	DIVERSION-DIGESTION	143
	PAIN & PLEASURE	145
	DEVIATIONS	147
	ANALYSIS	149
	EMPLOYEE	153

1. IMPULSE-RESPONSE-RESULT

During a course of lecture, an aggressive speaker- with wonderful vocabulary, facial expressions, metallic voice and body language took all of us to the wonderland to show us the picture of “Get Provoked”. Not to get recognized of my ignorance / innocence I too clapped hands by carefully watching others hands. I asked my friend what is the gist of the speech. Let some one provoke you is the answer. Not satisfied with the answer I repeated it.

• React positively,
• Have determination
• Have creativity
• Do not depend on others were amongst many answers.

Coal is a beautiful fuel TO PRODUCE wonderful Electricity

Input -  process -  output

Impulse – response – result

Don’t be- jealous- to have peace

A careful analysis of many spiritual, personality development speeches, indicate the focus is only on GREATNESS of the COAL or GREATNESS of the ELECTRICIY which is known to almost all of us.

The speaker demonstrated this by elaborating the result of the provoking.

We are well aware of the human traits required for the successful and peaceful living.

Conceptual thinking,

Cool expression,

Good listening,

Simple living,

Forgiving,

Tolerant,

Hygienic and

Jovial

How to get these? How not to get jealous? How to produce electricity? How to develop right attitude are the questions need to be answered and are to be elaborated. Theory I know and the practice followed is here.

IMPULSE – RESPONSE – RESULT.

Through day in and day out many situations, incidents, persons stand in front of us posing questions, challenges, seeking attention, actions and decisions. They are the impulses.

We need to respond them. Even running away from such situations is also a kind of response. That way many options are with us. We many times inadvertently choose one and implement it.

The result that comes out is in accordance with the quality of response and of course partially under nature’s influences (uncontrollable parameters).

Since we can do nothing with Impulse and result – uncontrollable parameters, the controllable component is our response. As impulse and result are not in our hand, and we have everything to do with our responses, more emphasize is to be given to it.

Response is chosen from past experiences stored in memory or culture. Family and Social Culture influences child hood experiences and practices. We call this now as a child hood program which contains Individual and cultural perceptions. Since a child can not analyze the acquired information the program has errors in it.

These immature perceptions (of cultural or individual) are strongly loaded in the child. They are recalled and incorporated in the responses to the external impulses and hence become habits or culture of the individual Due to improper response we end up with wrong result.

As the child grow, he looks around, learns from the learned then he over writes those right perceptions on the existing child hood program. Though it is more accurate than child hood program it is weak because of overwriting nature. Child hood program is strong and adult hood program is weak.  First impression is best impression.

While responding to an impulse mind refers to

• Either child hood program when ever less reaction time is there or
• Adulthood program whenever sufficient reaction time is there or
• Both the programs when any one of child hood and adult hood programs is insufficient- and are contradictory to each other, hence, confusion results, hence we would be doing the things, which we have decided not to do.

To get the good results, replace the faulty childhood program with the healthy adulthood program there by have only one program and that too accurate one.

Even before that we need to identify the components involved in it.

• 26 alphabets could make volumes of text,
• One or two dozen of electronic components (Resistor, capacitor, inductor, diode, transistor etc.,) created millions of Integrated circuits and in turn many products

Similarly a dozen or two right conceptions or habits can drive away our misery. Erase the misconceptions and store the right.

How do you remove a dried ink from the pot without touching its internals?

Pour good thoughts, stir and pour out negative thoughts. Mind gets pure thoughts.

Please read the process which does the job described above.

STAGE-1; Find the enemy and design the weapon.

At the end of the day recall the incidents of the day where in you are hurt and list out the root cause in a diary. A repeatedly appearing root cause is of the main concern. Find its nature and classify it as anger or jealous or greedy etc., Develop a simple and easy to remember self hypnotic statement which acts as antidote.

STAGE-2: Body and mind are the supporters of the enemy. Divide and rule. Make the body motion less and mind to Trance.

Every habit turns to be both physical and mental desire. Both mind and body are tuned to the habit. Keep one constant and work on other enemy and defeat it.

See the body gets tired by doing little exercise and lay on back in “SHAVASANA POSTURE”. Create Pressure and release in all the parts of the body to make the body to understand the difference between tension and relaxation.

Tension is for 1 minute but relaxation is for 5 minutes. Repeatedly say to your self “relax” and feel it.

May be after few minutes, in shavasana posture sleep occurs. Do not worry it is a sign of body listening to your instructions.

Repeatedly tell yourself not to sleep but enter into TRANCE. Trance is a status of mind, alert enough to notice surroundings but not react.

STAGE-3: Eliminate the enemy and keep your friend there. Say and feel the self hypnotic suggestion.

A meaningful statement if repeatedly said in the mind and felt for a long duration can get loaded in the brain and becomes habit. It was called as mantra by our ancestors.

It is mentioned in the Bhagavadgeetha that mind control is possible through Abhayasa and Vairagya – which mean practice and dispassion, which is the one described.

Caution: The process of changing the mind constitution causes initially confusion and abnormal behavior.

Only two types of people can be confusion less or peaceful always.

• Unquestionable Slaves of the mind,
• Masters of mind control

If the deviation is there between what you want to be and what you are-mental conflict or war takes place resulting in confusion and abnormal behavior for some time. It remains until you win over it and take the -full control of mind.

2. MANTRA

No doubt, mantra is a powerful tool to correct the thought and show a right direction in the life path. But a mantra is useless unless it’s meaning and direction is known.

First 3 alphabets of mantra refer to heart or soul or consciousness and probably other three may be referring the repetition. Mantra’s overall meaning is to repeat several times in the conscious mind. It is similar to Self Hypnotism which really works if sincerely done.

Mantras were written and practiced during those days in Sanskrit because it was the language used by all. Reciting them in that language has no use today. When you understand and feel the meaning of a song you can get an emotion relevant to that word or phrase or sentence.

Mantra has 3 components in it – FEEL, DO, and SAY.

Once we deliberately focus our mind to any relaxing thing, we temporarily get the relief from the troubling present situation. We have two techniques to get away from the troubling thought or situation.

v     DIVERT the mind to any other relaxing  issue, subject or object

OR

v     Apply the logic and truth and then DIGEST the troubling issue or thought.

Diversion activities are – watching TV, MOVIE, Listening songs, talking to the near and dear etc.

During mourning period of a death, lot of activities were forced on the concerned people just not allow them to worry about the incident. It is a diversion. The concerned get tired of doing all those things during day time and once he/she goes to bed sound sleep is inevitable.

To know what is Digestion watch Discovery or animal planet. Though the animals by all means try to protect their babies from attacking tigers,   if the baby is killed, within few moments they digest the truth and leaves the dead and go ahead.

For humans it needs to be practiced. Mantra is a DIIVERSION in the initial stage but becomes a Digestion later.

Here comes the question about the purpose of mantra. Every mantra may not be applicable to all.

If I am already not an easily angered person then the mantra “Don’t be Angry” is of no use. It is the direction which I mentioned in the beginning. Make your own mantra to drive away your troubling thought or concept and follow religiously then the benefit is assured.

Anchor the mind, involve, understand, feel and dissolve in it. That is the aim of mantra.

3. HAPPINESS

A non vegetarian Indian child was taught to be happy by eating chicken, but a Chinese was taught to be happy with eating a snake.

We were taught to tie our happiness with objects or subjects around. It means happiness cannot be obtained it should be derived. So, subjects or objects have become our sources of happiness.

But there is a missing link between happiness and Objects/subjects. -Peace of mind-calm ness or tranquility or serenity.

We are all at the centre of the circle of the happiness cone. The radii are the paths (balanced acts of the life) to reach peace perimeter of the circle. The peace provides the easier path to happiness.

Happiness is the castle built over Peace foundation which is to be derived or achieved by moving through balanced life acts.

• Through our balanced life acts/activities we can get peace of mind.
• Happiness is possible only when mind is peaceful.

Relaxed parent can laugh or enjoy the child’s acts. By taking tea many of us feel that we can be happy. The disturbed mind makes this Cup to Stomach activity a sheer mechanical one. Little or no happiness is the end result. Happiness can be in its fullest form if peace of mind exists.

There are so many objects and subjects with which we try to derive happiness. Still the list is growing with respect to time due to technological advances. The happiness is temporary – after the fulfillment I take out my mind from it and focus on other unachieved desire. Absence of them or unfulfilled desire brings unhappiness too.

When I bring an imported car, on first day, I look around for my neighbors to notice it and admire. Even if no one notices I blow horn to attract their notice. After few days the happiness is gone. It becomes a routine thing. The happiest moments also become a talk of the past.

We are always falling short of many products or services due to the slow growth of financial resources.

Adding to this misery we being social animals look for social acceptance. If my actions and activities are not recognized I feel unhappy.

Ultimately what are we doing?

We are anchoring the happiness to objects, subjects and keeping it in hands of people around us. How simple is to make a person unhappy. Steal a most liked object or do not give the most liked promotion or simply say “you are incompetent to do it”.

What I want to finally say – Peace comes when the mind is anchored to the objects or subjects of eternity.

What are they?

Sky, clouds, rivers— the nature.

Some saints anchor their minds to breathing alone, which is free of cost.

Yes it is possible.

If I could derive happiness from smoking, which is a tough task due to its first time presence in the throat irritates and ignites severe cough, followed by the cancer, why not from those I listed?

The best example to prove that we all have the ability to derive happiness from any thing or every thing is “GOD”. Many of us are able to derive the happiness from the belief that is based on the non existent person or his non existent powers. We are spending merrily money, time, energy, and sacrificing our lives too on the GOD. History witnessed many wars that took place for the sake of GOD/religion. It is more than alcohol, cigarette or any other sedative. We learn about the GOD may be at the age of 5 or so. Mind that different GODs are there in the society. There is no universal GOD. I have seen many disciples drowning in the happiness of GOD.

By virtue of my quality if the recognition comes- fine.  Absence of it should not pain me. I recognize myself. Understand my own Strength and weaknesses. Improve the strength and reduce weakness with which I can over come threats and utilize the opportunities. Inner forces handling can manage external situations.

Better to learn laws of life before loss of life occurs.

Before our quest for happiness begins, we should get rid off the sense of our temporary powers (money, position) and remember that behind our office uniform we are all biological units. Every biological unit consists of blood, bone and flesh.

Inner and outer forces influence each other. There are many similar situations in the life.  Mind influences the body and vice versa.

Which one has to be controlled first?

It is similar to whether egg is first or hen? Seed or tree?

Here we need to break the ice. Take one and isolate it from other, then deal with the one captured. Water and electricity flows from high potential to low. What to do to reverse the flow?

Reverse the potential.

Shall I say High mean Strength and Low mean Weakness? If I am weak stronger external forces influence me and if I am stronger I can influence outer. This is the theory of body immunity and virus. It is applicable to mind immunity to virus thoughts or forces.

After accepting it, the question is how to do it, before beginning to explore it; I would like to share an idea.  i.e. Rehearsal

Rehearsal is the practicing activity taken up prior to the performance on the stage. We all accept that success is proportional to number of rehearsals.

On the stage outer forces will be disturbing unless the actor has more inner strength.

Where from this inner strength comes for him/her?

After many such rehearsals and subsequent successes, he/she may be habituated to perform well with ease. That is expertise. For some one it can be an inborn quality. Our interest is not to talk about them.

During Rehearsal the external world or forces are isolated and the person focuses on the activity in the environment created for that purpose. Now he/she has an altogether different inner world.

Rehearsal =Meditation

Environment=Relaxation or shavasan to take the mind to trance

Activity=Self hypnotic suggestion

It is nothing but reprogramming of the mind. For time being I skip the details of this method-which can be discussed later-of course on reminding.

Then the question remaining is how to make that self hypnotic suggestion.

1). First recognize the enemies. Take up the most troubling one – thought or concept. Remember our own wrong thoughts and concepts trouble us more than our human enemies. Can I be happy with my concept of stealing others money? A constant fear of getting caught chases me.

2). Then make an instruction or suggestion to counter the trouble. The suggestion purpose must be to defeat the aggression of thought, fear, and unhappiness.

A Precise, meaningful, rhythmic antidote of the aggression shall be the statement. Repeatedly SAY, DO & FEEL the statement.

This rehearsal, though initially confined to an arranged environment it need to be extended to all time situations except the situations where mind need to be focused on to a task.

Set up a committee with the members, 1). Experiential logic, 2). Truth  - to scrutiny every thought or force or action. Let every impulse that strikes the mind go through the committee to decide the action. Then the result comes accordingly, if nature too aligns its own influencing parameters.

Train the soldier well to counter enemies in the war zone. This is applicable to the people who are in the society performing various tasks.

Other method is- instead of firing the bullets against the enemies firing me from 360 degrees, wear the bullet proof shield and relax. This is what many saints do. They be away from the people and focus on the mind alone.

Some one said: what is the use of me having all power, facilities and position else where, where my parents, friends and relatives can’t see it. Whether all achievements are for our near and dear to appreciate ,for making us be more important among less important friends or is it above all these ?

He is right with respect to the orbit he is in now. He learnt to derive the happiness from known friends and relatives’ appreciation only. He is weak in recognizing friends and relatives who are every where.

During our child hood we move from parents to relatives’ society frequently. When we are independent we enter the actual society where ignorance and innocence is not tolerated. If the child enters actual society after interaction with relatives circle, he can face it well because he has seen the harshness in milder form in relatives’ society.

Frequency matching is most important than known, unknown, cast, region, religion, nationality.

Two brothers from the same family are not comfortable with each other. Then where is the sanctity for the known friends, relatives, caste etc. Another psychological aspect of comfort ability with known people and surroundings is in the biological sense of threat.

Some one said I could only feel that as a human being we need some bench marking/appreciation to grow to feel grown? Am I wrong?

He is right from the angle he was viewing. Then what is truth?

Right from the childhood our perceptions and concepts undergo various transformations. An erratic child hood program gets changed under influence of the wider horizons of the society.  What was normal yester day is abnormal today. I was happy with chocolate but not now.

This change or learning is a continuous process. To enjoy the bright flower, sunrise, river, an innocent child’s play – do any one require a companion, known friend or relatives?

We get absorbed or dissolved in to it without noticing anyone is around or not. Once you have the power of anchoring your mind to any kind of act and derive happiness from it, (remember you can also de-anchor your mind from it and lock to any subject or object of your choice) you don’t require any one around and his/her recognition.  Every one has this Attachment power with Detachment facility.

Quest for truth can begin in one of the three situations

1). By Intuition-as happened in case of Buddha,

2). Holy presence,

3). Tragedy.

In the present society

1 is not there,

2 is rare

3 is every where.

Every wise had a past and every fool has future. If you say it is 100% scale. All of us will be finding a place in between.

4. IS GOD THERE

What are you carrying in your bag?

Mongoose!

What for?

I am going to bar to have alcohol. Soon after having it I see the snakes around.

So what? They are imaginary.

Yes I am carrying another imagination – see this empty bag.

To counter one software feeling we have generated another one.

Fear of failures, losses, diseases and death – forced us to create the god.

Primitive man of rock age / Stone Age was in existence without the grace of god.

A created god of the Stone Age has a stone weapon in his hand. Similarly check others’ weapons.

If I have to create the god I keep a machine gun or atom bomb in his hand.

I may say “until science proves the existence of the God ignore it.”

You may say “until existence of the God is ruled out by the science believe the god.”

Any belief, if not harmful to the society, need not be scrutinized

A jasmine flower vendor and dried fish vendor with their stock in hand walked across each other closing their noses with intolerance.

My right ends at the edge of my nose. Though it is my hand I cannot swing it in the public thereby slap some one unintentionally. There ends the matter.

5. MOTHER TONGUE

If a person is asked to go through few pages of a subject in a given one hour or more time, he/she can READ and VISUALIZE the content of the subject thoroughly.

Visualization and conceptualizations are the mental processes which do occur only if sufficient time is allotted to them and finally lead to PERCEPTION- an ultimate knowledge/wisdom.

After reading a statement, thinking about its application, authenticity, relevance, correlating past experiences and churning many other possibilities out, lead to right perception. In one word we can say “depth of understanding” increases with respect to time.

If more number of subjects are given in the same time, the time allotted on each subject decreases hence forth the depth of understanding on each subject decreases.

English is given much importance due to

• Its penetration into many languages,
• Availability of many scientific, technical and higher education books etc., in that language.

Many local languages are invaded by English and are reduced to bare minimum in terms of their purity. Even servant maids now a day use many English words in their conversation.

Importance of English is best understood with the present situation where in our software engineer is preferred to Chinese counter part due to our command on English language.

Daily rated labor too admitting their children in English medium school due to its importance.

In our country every student need to learn three languages and write examination too.

Only if learning part of the local language is concerned, one can learn local language without writing exams in it. For speaking and understanding of any language one need not to learn it in school and write examination.

Many illiterates speaking local language fluently can be seen to check the veracity of my statements.

Is it required to have three languages just because of our feeling towards mother tongue which is on natural extinction?

Is Sanskrit not almost extinct in our daily life?

Are we not unnecessarily loading the student with two extra languages and consequently reducing his/her depth of understanding in other subjects?

These need to be answered keeping in over all view of all prior statements.

One may say we are loosing our culture.

Culture is nothing but a system containing procedures or methods of living.

Language is only a medium of expression of our feelings.

One may say “We can express our feelings in a better way in our mother tongue”.

True!

My grand child can express in a better way in English than in my mother tongue after 2 or three decades.

In fact all Indian local languages are not surviving in their original form!  Modulation took place so much with respect to time; so that no form can be claimed as my mother tongue. My grandfather’s mother tongue is different from my grandchild’s.

I say Let English language alone be taught in school enabling the student to have more depth of understanding of other important subjects and allowing him/her enjoy the child hood after school hours.

After all, the purpose of this debate is to reduce the load/stress on the student for the benefits described.

6. FRANKNESS

Inter-personal relationship depends upon the behavior of the individual, which in turn depends on the concepts he has in the mind. Actions are driven by thoughts and thoughts are driven by concepts.

I am frank and hence never keep any thing in the mind. Whatever strikes my mind comes out like a bullet through my tongue without any modification- says- many people as if it is a matter of pride.

Thought becomes talk only after several mental processes if the person is not under emotional stress. Speaking under emotional stress becomes a habit over a period of time if not controlled.

One or more signals from sensory organs together constitute a thought or perception. Mind manipulates / controls this perception before resulting into action (s). One action is speech. We tend to speak about every thing or any thing that comes on our way, of course in the presence of a listener.

We, in daily life, come across many people whom we do not like either by virtue of their appearance or behavior. Is expressing that true feeling a frankness?

If I say “You look like a bull! I don’t want to talk to you”. Result is – I acquire bull’s shape.

Then what is frankness?

Constructive criticism on modifiable, achievable and principle based issues in the larger interests of the society or groups, even if it costs him/her any amount of loss can be defined as frank way of speaking.

To quote one “Rajaram mohan rai’s voice against sati”

7. CONCEPTUAL THINKING

Our quality policy tells us why we are all here under one roof. This is the Goal or Ball we all the players are trying to push in the intended direction or to the destination. While playing our roles the tiredness makes us to look for rejuvenation.

A short break can make us to have a better take off later. What is to be done during break? Mind diversion! Yes it is the key parameter for creativity.

Example – Archimedes- bath tub – Eureka.

Tea break is not really to take tea alone.

It is not material oriented act; rather it is a psychological diversion. It is an induced feeling of relaxation.

Since mind cannot be kept blank focusing the mind on to the topics of individual interest occurs. As long as the topics chosen are informative and message oriented – Conceptual – the break can be rejuvenating.

8. FIRST HAND INFORMATION REPORT

(FIR)

Sir my name is Hero, world famous boxer and I want to lodge FIR against Mr. Zero who beaten me.

FIR was registered and the 5′3″ & 35Kg Zero was summoned to the police station. The right leg and left arm amputated zero denied the allegation. But the whole system helped Hero to jail Zero.

It may be exaggerated in terms of Physical strength.

A sycophant can take the role of hero in a weak setup.

The concept behind framing such a judiciary system is “Victim only cries” – No one comes to police without a pain. The culprit understood the loophole- “Crying baby gets the feed-Offence is the best way of defense”

Culprit cries louder and much earlier before the victim understands the pain caused by the culprit. The culprit’s cry is heard by the society and the punishment pain is imposed on victim in addition to the one already he had.

The villain of Mahabharat – Dhuryodhan went to Krishna to get help to fight against Pandavas. Of course Krishna did not help him but the excuse he offered was seen first -gets chance-. He could not say Truth gets Support’.

Still both are exhibiting behavior similar to the Police and Criminal of present society.

Whom to blame? And what is the remedy?

No one needs to be blamed.

It happens everywhere. Wherever the rule is there, there is a loophole. Invent an anti virus-another virus is there already. It is a continuous race. Human intelligence is found in both directions – Construction and destruction.

Perverted intelligence is the reality. It always exists. It is natural every biological cell tries to use or eat the other one.

Remedy is that the victim should get educated to act fast or otherwise learn to get pained. The two mechanisms available for all the living being are Fight or Flight.

Fight-win-peaceful on earth or loose and be peaceful in heaven

Or

Flight-be away -peaceful.

9. ARGUMENT OR DISCUSSION

Though both activities are meant for bringing out a point out of it, methodology or modus operandi differs.

Argument goal is to make a desired way brushing every one and every thing aside.

Why this attitude?

Is it connected to fear of humiliation and rejection?

Yes it is the inability to handle the rejection. People feel it a threatening situation or a challenge which decides their life or death. As they start loosing the logical ground, the fear of failure makes them more stubborn on their point thereby adopting any or every trick whether logical or illogical to win the situation. As the defeat becomes imminent they resort to personal attack.

This behavior has its root in the inferiority complex.

When a subject or object or an issue is subjected to scrutiny, we need to focus all our senses only on them applying the forces of wisdom, processing and memory together to dig the truth out.

When I am not able to get any more supporting point I shift my eyes from the subject or object and look at the winning person to find out any black spot on his face and look around for the mud to blacken it further.

When I am confident about my point which is truth and can not be denied by any one, I feel your acceptance or opinion does not matter, I do not even put forth my point.

If a lady is not confident about her beauty, she will be afraid to look at her image in the mirror.

It is the general feeling that if you win, you are acting like a mirror to show the foolishness of the person who was defeated- Hence the defeated has to make his way or break the mirror.

Always what I believe may not be correct or truth; in that case be ready to accept the truth that comes out of the discussion and use that as an occasion to replace the faulty perception or idea and become more pure and sure.

It is a not a defeat. It is nothing but adding another truth word to a life dictionary to make it richer and richer. Wise has high regard for such truth accepting people rather than looking them down.

Win the hearts than wars!

After war winning the defeated forces join together to declare the war again.

Every such war winning, bring jealous, wounded forces together. Winning the heart is a support for ever and is the end of all wars.

If you are not able to convince the other and at the same time you are not convinced about other’s point it is the time to stop the discussion.

The situation is similar to that of both the participants in the war are exhausted of their arms and ammunition. There is no point staying the war field.

If the data available is insufficient go and come back with more arms and ammunition.

But anger and personal attack shuts the mouths of all participants preventing the truth to come out and bringing ill feelings about each other.

1). Convince or get convinced,                                              2). Be a truth lover.

10. ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems- problems at work, personal relations and it can make us feel as though we are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

It is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. It can be towards

v     A specific person

v     An event

v     Worry or brooding over personal problems (memories)

Anger is a natural adoptive response to threats, it inspires powerful often-aggressive feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. Hence survival anger is required.

On the other hand lashing out at every one or object that irritates us is not correct. Laws, social norms and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

We use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with angry feelings. The five main approaches are

v     Expressing,

v     Suppressing,

v     Converting,

v     Redirecting,

v     Calming.

Expressing our angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do it we have to learn how to make clear what our needs are, and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding, it means being respectful of our self and others.

Suppression leads to hypertension or depression. It may lead to passive aggressive behavior (shouting back at people indirectly without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on), or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. Converting or redirecting on to a constructive work is useful.

People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments can not learn how to constructively express their anger; hence they are likely to break relationships.

The problem most people are having in their personal relationships is anger. Actually the problem is not anger; the problem is the “mismanagement” of anger.

There is bound to be conflict from time to time simply because we are each so unique in terms of our back ground and the cultural values we bring with us into our relationships. These differences are bound to lead to occasional or even some times frequent conflicts and disputes.

When we do not know how to handle the anger of these conflicts appropriately we will mismanage them every single time. Eventually the accumulated disgust from our failed attempts to resolve our conflicts ultimately leads to the deterioration and end of our relationships.

One of the most common causes of over-reactive anger is the result of suppressed anger from the past.

Most people have a pattern of suppressing their anger until the pressures become intolerable. At this point they usually erupt like a volcano. They find themselves doing and saying things they do not want to do.

Easily angered people do not always curse and throw things sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk or get physically ill. They have low tolerance for frustration, inconvenience or annoyance and unjust.

Causes, to become an easily angered person are

v     Genetic or physiological,

v     Socio-cultural (anger is often regarded as negative; hence we are taught that it is alright to express anxiety, depression-weeping or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result we don’t learn how to handle it or channel it constructively)

v     Family back ground – Disruptive, chaotic and unskilled (at emotional communication) families make children easily angered type.

We cannot get rid off or avoid the things or the people who enrage us, nor we can change them but we can learn to control our reactions.

• Watch your words while on angry- say only what you mean.
• Look into and talk to yourself to find out the reason for anger.
• Find out your need behind that reason.
• Check its legality and justifiability.
• Convey or communicate your need to the person.
• If it cannot be achieved by any acceptable means accept the loss or failure, forget and calm down. Don’t leave a single anger-causing incident un-analyzed.

Calming down mean does not controlling outward behavior alone but also internal responses and let the feeling subside. Practice these:

v     Physical exercise:

v     Relaxation: (practice daily for automatic rescue during emergency).

v     Better communication. Avoid using exaggerated expressions or replace with mild or rational ones.

v     Logic defeats anger: Because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you. You are just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger.

v     Don’t demand: Angry people tend to demand things: fairness appreciation, agreement, affection, and willingness to do things in their way. Every one wants these things and is hurt when they don’t get them, but angry people demand them.

Some times, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced and often it is healthy, natural response to these difficulties.

There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration. This is always not the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation then is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how to handle and face the problem.

v     Good manager must be a good listener: Angry people tend to jump to and act on conclusions and some of those can be very in accurate.

Search for the underlying message or reason for anger. For instance you like

a certain amount of freedom and personal space and your “significant other” wants more connection and closeness.

The underlying message of highly angry people is that they are morally right others are at fault to disturb them.

v     Changing environment: while on a stressful mission change the hostile environment.

v     Changing time; don’t select the time by which you are tired to start a new assignment.

v     Use sensible humor

v     Find alternatives: during unavoidable irritants like traffic jam, choose alternate paths.

Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable action of others. We can not change that but we can change the way we let such events affect us.

11. LIFE ARTS.

12. WHETHER THE CROW COULD GET WATER?

The age old story about a thirsty crow and its intelligence was once again heard in recent times. I started thinking about the story and I suddenly had a doubt about the veracity of the story.

Let me put forth the crux of the story and my point in a precise manner.

Ek kavva pyasa thaa

Jug me thoda pani thaa

Kavva laya kankar

Pani Aya oopar

     Thoda : let us define it as 1/5^th of jug

     Kankar: let us define the size of it as 1cm x 1cm x 1cm = 1 cubic cm.

     Water never comes up. It settles down between the gaps of the stones. Please try. If I am wrong please convince me or get convinced.

It is not the crow, the person who made us to believe it for ages is really intelligent.

13. RESPONSE

While responding to the impulses posed by the persons, situations, we tend to have no or limited forethought of consequences. It happens when we don’t have known solution or particularly when we are being watched. Responses can be broadly divided in to two categories.

v     Response when alone,

v     Response – while being watched by the people.

While we promise / accept to do something, we will be in hurry to get rid off the situation or persons henceforth consequences cannot be thought of. It particularly happens when

• There is no time to think
• feeling shy to ask for time or
• We are emotionally gripped,
• We are greedy to have short term gains.

The difference between responding while alone

And

Responding while we are under watch is vast.

Those listed above are there in both cases.

Our interest is only on the response while we are being watched. A fear or stress or tension grips the mind when we are under watch. The fear of being watched makes every one discomfort able.

To take a right decision about any issue while we are being watched requires Psychological solitude or seclusion.

It is the ability to focus the mind on to an issue by totally forgetting the surroundings or surrounded people.

It appears to me that this ability is there with every child by birth. Brought up conditions may be altering that status hence the grown up person develops the shyness or discomfort due to the feeling of being watched. Child develops those due to

• A continuous supervision during the execution of given assignment,
• Excessive warning about the failure or consequences,
• Reminding constantly about past failures.

Occasions like stage performance, interview, and group discussion demand this ability combined with knowledge about the subject to get success.

From this statement you can notice that the required qualities are

• Solitude
• Make the information or knowledge available in the brain
• Retrieve the available information from the brain.

Both storing and retrieval of information in the memory cell require solitude.

Another force required for storing and retrieval is interest or desire. In the absence of it even if solitude and information are there mind goes to the subject of interest. It is similar to the search for a missing 1 rupee coin. Solitude is required to ignore some ones comment (disturbance or noise) on your search for such small money.  Interest to get it forces you to search for it. Clear the way and focus the torch to find the missing thing, if it is there.

Clear the way      = solitude

Focus the torch   = interest or desire

If it is there          = source (of information)

Both learning and responding to the impulses by using the learnt information require solitude, interest and source of information or knowledge.

Make the data or information available in the distinct form (permanent memory) in the mind. Then retrieve it to use at an appropriate situation. Student’s learning mechanism involves a

• Preacher (source of information),
• Student’s solitude (filters out all external disturbances) and
• Student’s interest

In the absence of solitude and interest information gets stored in the temporary memory and gets faded over a period of time.

You can assume the activity as a transformer.

Preacher’s information flows through the primary winding of a transformer. Student’s interest provides magnetic link between primary and secondary winding. Along with information lot of noise or emotion or disturbance also flows in the secondary winding (and into student’s mind). Solitude acts like a filter and stores only the relevant information in the permanent memory.

P – Preacher or Primary S - Student or secondary

Transformer

P

S

Solitude of the student

Student memory cells

Interest of the student

While accessing the information stored in the mind, again these 3 parameters become important.

     Stored information availability in the permanent memory

     Solitude and

     Interest or desire

When we are able to enter into solitude we can look at the issue from various angles and come out with a good conclusion.

The Transformer theory is applicable to all social impulses. If some one is scolding you, unless you provide the magnetic link (interest) the comments do not create secondary current (emotion). Other aspect of this theory is that -

• Provide magnetic link receive the signal with solitude (without bothering any one’s presence).
• Apply experiential logic to the signal reached to verify it  and
• Get the truth out of scolding.
• Take up corrective action if it is constructive criticism other wise ignore it
• Get the peace of mind.

Let us not take it that if we have solitude and interest we succeed always.

The information available with us may be insufficient to complete the task. Even if the right information is there nature’s support is also required. We will discuss about it little later. When the problem is complex and when we are unable to make right calculations – better stick to truth, justice and law- instead of gain.

In a chess game we can think of and plan for few steps in advance taking into account of various possibilities. As the number of steps increase- planning or guess becomes too difficult. There comes philosophy. Philosophy begins where logic ends. Move a random step out of available options. Be ready to face result. Repenting about such step is of no use. Derive conclusions about such failure and plan for future. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Nature’s support

Let us say:

A = Initial phase of effort

B = Final phase of effort

E = Total human effort

A x B = E      Boolean expression (A, B, E can be either one or zero) —-Equation-1

Let us say:

C = Nature’s support or cooperation or luck

D = Success or Output (If it is 1 or if it is not zero)

E x C = D     Boolean expression (E, C, D can be either one or zero) —-Equation-2

Combining equation 1 and 2

A x B x C = D     Boolean expression (A, B, C, D can be either 1 or 0) —–Equation-3

If any one out of A, B, C becomes zero the output becomes zero.

People, who frequently fail, accomplish A, ignore B (B becomes zero) and immediately look for D.

After many failures they come to a conclusion that success is not meant for them.

Ultimately failure is attributed to God or their sins of previous birth. Those who are ready to accept the constructive feedback and analyze failures come to know about the existence of B and C.

Nature’s cooperation can be seen in the invention of X rays.

The conclusions are:

     Develop the psychological solitude,

     Interest in the subject or issue which is recognized and rewarded by the society,

     Approach the right source of information, acquire and store in the memory,

     Retrieve the information as a response to the impulses posed by the society and respond,

     Accept, analyze the failure and improve response then leave it to nature’s cooperation.

Guilty and fear of failure reduces interest and solitude. Balanced acts of life and meditation can eliminate them altogether

14. STRESS – PHOBIA

Stress is an invisible tiger. Invisible to others but the person involved really feels its presence.

Incase real tiger appears in front of us we have only two mechanisms.

Fight or Flight.

Both activities involve a short-term stress. This short-term stress becomes a force to act in any way.

Depending upon the individual’s strength a decision is taken to adopt one of those mechanisms. Kill or get killed are the end results.

In case we are able to kill the tiger, an immense satisfaction of victory combined with tiredness (due to intense physical exercise) makes us to relax and sleep well and thrash the stress. There is nothing to discuss about the other case.

Let us take a hypothetical situation where in the tiger informed us in advance about its attack. Then, fear or stress comes.  If time is there fear is there.

There are many invisible tigers in our day-to-day life. An unfulfilled desire or set point or any other negative emotion becomes an invisible tiger. We can neither kill it nor get killed. Which mean the fight is endless. The stress is no more short term henceforth it is not a supportive force. Prolonged periods of stress make us to get nervous break down.

Out of many such invisible tigers, one is social fear or social phobia.

Phobias are persistent, irrational fears of certain objects or situations.

Phobias occur in several forms; the fear associated with a phobia that can focus on a particular object (specific phobia) or be a fear of embarrassment in a public setting (social phobia).

Specific phobias involve a fear of an object or situation, such as small animals, snakes, closed-in spaces, or flying in an airplane.

Social phobia is the fear of being humiliated in a social setting, such as when meeting new people, giving a speech, or talking to powerful people.

Here power can be defined as the capacity to harm others, which normally is the mark of respect out of fear.

All of us or many of us or at least some of us experience stress or anxiety to face public or groups, in whose presence we need to perform some thing. Most people experience these fears with mild to moderate intensity. For people with social phobia, however, the fear is extremely intrusive and can disrupt normal life, interfering with work or social relationships in varying degrees of severity.

These situations may include using public restrooms, eating with other people, or social contact in general. People fear being humiliated or embarrassed by their actions and may become intensely anxious, with increased heart rate and other signs. These physical symptoms may cause additional anxiety, often leading to a conditioned fear response that reinforces the anxiety of public situations.

Individuals with true social phobia go to great lengths to avoid social situations, usually to their own detriment.

According to an article, social phobia is the third most common problem in the United States. Prevalence has been estimated at 7% & appears to be increasing among married and well-educated individuals.

Social phobia often leads to extreme social isolation in children and can be a precursor to depression. In adults, academic and occupational functioning also may be affected; often, people with social phobia have significant trouble forming relationships with others.

Social phobia typically manifests in early adolescence. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be humiliating or embarrassing. Associated features include addiction; and dependent personality.

We must see that Children attain the capacity for age-appropriate social relationships with familiar people.

Anxiety can occur in peer settings (competitions) not just in interactions with adults.  In children, the anxiety may be expressed as crying, tantrums, freezing, or shrinking from social situations with unfamiliar people

The adult can recognize that the fear is excessive or unreasonable but not children.  The child may be noticeably uncomfortable or anxious in the school. He/She may be hesitant or have difficulty speaking. However, in one-on-one situations, he/she may not demonstrate significant social anxiety. He/she may speak softly and with hesitancy.

Thought processes are usually normal, and thinking is goal directed. They may be preoccupied with what others are thinking about him or her. Pre-occupation with the scrutiny of others may approach delusional levels.

Apart from persistent stressful situations in the child hood, genetic factors contribute to social phobia.

Solution: Gradually exposing the child to simulated situations that normally cause Stress. By mastering the situation without stress or anxiety, he/she is eventually able to tolerate more situations that previously induced anxiety.

Extreme avoidance behavior (i.e., avoiding contact with others and being unable to maintain education or employment) sometimes complicates this condition.

Abuse of alcohol, sedatives, or narcotics, can also make the situation more difficult.

Parents support may be helpful in behavioral desensitization techniques and in decreasing the social isolation. Relaxation or meditation and breathing techniques are helpful.

15. ANXIETY

It is a feeling of excessive time urgency.

It is an unrealistic wish to do things faster. A wish to do things better or improve or convince others (Brain sends signal to the tongue to speak faster than it can twist) etc. It is a feeling of apprehension, fear, or worry. Some fears and worries are justified, such as worry about a loved one.

Anxiety may occur without a cause, or it may occur based on a real situation, but may be out of proportion to what would normally be expected. Severe anxiety can have a serious impact on daily life.

Anxiety can be accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms. Most commonly, these symptoms are related to the heart, lungs, and nervous system. You may feel as if you are having a heart attack.

Anxiety may be caused by a mental condition, a physical condition, the effects of drugs, or from a combination of these. Causes:

v     Stress

v     Excessive coffee consumption ( which we feel as alertness),

v     An overactive thyroid,

v     Abnormal heart rhythms or heart abnormalities

Symptoms:

Sweating	Trembling	Chest pain	Restlessness
Shortness of breath	Sense of choking	Easy fatigue	Difficulty concentrating
Irritability	Muscle tension	sleep disturbances

Solution

Prevention of anxiety essentially involves an awareness of life’s stresses and your own ability to cope with them. This can often be a difficult task in our busy and hectic 21st century. If the anxiety is short, it goes away by itself, if cause can be eliminated. Stress may be relieved by

Meditation or Relaxation or deep breathing	Resting in a dark room
Exercise	Visualization of consequences
Prevention also includes diet. Diet is a large factor.	Getting enough sleep
Giving someone a compliment.	Engaging in pleasurable activities,
Setting realistic goals	Reaching out to people you do feel comfortable
Assessing fears by identifying what situations cause the most anxiety is important.
Make eye contact and return greetings from others, or being the first to say hello.
Preparing for conversation. For instance, read the newspaper to identify an interesting story you can talk about.
Focusing on personal qualities you like about yourself. Banishing negative thoughts about yourself
Show interest in others: Ask about their homes, children and grandchildren, hobbies or travels, for instance.
Be in touch with others who can closely identify with your situation. People in the group may also be able to share tips and insights for coping with social anxiety disorder that you hadn’t considered.
As difficult or painful as it may seem initially, don’t avoid situations that trigger your symptoms. By regularly facing these kinds of situations, you’ll continue to build and reinforce your coping skills. Over time, doing this can help control your symptoms and prevent a relapse of your condition.
Remind yourself that you can get through anxious moments, that your anxiety is short-lived, and that the negative consequences you so fear rarely come to pass.

Maintaining connections and building relationships are key ways to help cope with any kind of stress.

Using alcohol or illicit drugs to try to get through an event or situation makes a person to become more anxious.

16. GANDHI ALSO HAD GODSE

While worshipping God Rama, it never strikes any one’s mind in south that he was born and brought up in U.P. or belongs to northern part of India. He is above regionalism.

Irrespective of their regions- Ravan was hated and Rama was praised for their bad and good traits.

Why not we show similar feeling with other human beings?

Ultimately quality of the person matters a lot.

If I am cheated at Hyderabad Railway station, I categorize all the people of that state are of that kind. Taking few samples and generalizing the whole lot is a symbol of immaturity.

Ignoring the noise around if one attains the stature of RAM or RAVAN he remains above regionalism.

We forget where from Davood Ibrahim and Mother Theressa came from. So growing beyond regionalism is important.

The opposition or resistance will be hefty in the beginning.

No crab allows other one to climb up in the container due to its own greediness or hurriedness to come up at any cost. Pulling other down happens to pull up oneself. It is the truth. It happens. Let it happen.

Greatness lies in coming up under such hurdles. Here coming up is not for the sake of getting recognized as the great. It is for the sake of one’s own satisfaction- Feeling of purity, sanity or peace of mind.

Once the purity is attained it is felt by society and keeps him above regionalism. No doubt such growth invites enemies too. Godse less God is not possible. I mean Gandhi also had Godse (a man who killed Gandhi). Only a fictitious (It is my feeling) character like Dharama Raj in Mahabharat was enemy less. If Gandhi could have one, we can have many.

Since measurement scales are different same person is portrayed by the people in many ways.

My image varies from Ravan to Common man to Ram. It is difficult to satisfy all the people around you. If your image moves on the scale from zero to hero, you may come closer to hero but remember you are going away from zero. Hence hero likes you but zero hates you for the distance you traveled on the scale.

Converse of this is also true.

Therefore the goal is not to satisfy the people around you. Satisfy your conscience.

Here comes another point. How can you say your sense of right is really right?

It may not be.

Then?

To make the inner set point pure or ideal – continual improvement of wisdom is required. Acquire & apply knowledge to refine the goal or set point.

Observe, analyze social set points. Search for the truth. Your wisdom is your scale to measure the world around you. Use modified or purified scale to measure people around.

Tolerance and forgiveness are indicators of maturity. Simple living is the balanced act of life. It leads to peace. Happiness is the castle built over peace foundation through balanced acts of life.

17. MOTIVATION

Motive mean – causing motion or movement or a change. Motivation is the force causing the change or motion. Change in Physical or mental status. Which mean the thing which was stationary earlier started moving or changing under the motivating force in the desired direction.

Every stationary object or thought or habit has inertia. Inertia is the force that opposes its status change- either stationary status to movement -or moving status to stationary. Inertia of thought or habit or behavior is a troubling force we experience in day to day life.

Our interest is not about material and physical laws associated with it. But Newton’s law of motion is worth mentioning here. Every object remains in its present status until an opposing force is exerted on it.

Physical forces are easy to understand and create but not the psychological. These forces are difficult to create, sustain even if understood well.

Let me establish this fact through an example.

It is easier to clean a dried ink pot with brush and water. Apply force through brush to rub the internals and rinse with water. If the ink pot is the mind and dried ink is the hardened habits, behavior or thoughts-how to accomplish the task?

We need to apply psychological forces to do the job. Motivation is the answer.

There are two types of motivations.

1). Self Motivation,

2). External motivation

Every person has the self motivation to do any or every thing-whether good or bad. Here we restrict our self to self motivation to achieve good.

Deciding the direction and applying force can bring the intended results. To decide the direction we need wisdom. Wisdom comes through information collection and processing. It requires time and efforts on the issues of that sort.

Any kind of motivation first requires a basis or judgment. The motivator is driven by a concept or thought or judgment.

The knowledge base must be genuine, wider and deeper. Otherwise the motivating force becomes negative and is detrimental to the development of the individual.

Terrorism driven by the religious fanaticism is one of the negative motivations. Judgmental errors are frequent with depressed or stressed people. Making one’s own mind free from such forces is the first step.

Acquiring knowledge or wisdom to the fullest extent is the second step. At this stage self motivation is inevitable. Those who come to the stage of self motivation can go for external motivation.

Self motivation is for the self development.

External motivation is the force exerted on other’s mind for the desired change.

Why people resort to external motivation? -Or motivating others.

When we occupy a house, the first activity is to clean the internals and then surroundings. Why surroundings? What for? We cannot confine to congested domestic area.

We are the social animals. We need the broader better world. Better environment for our happy living. Retain supportive elements and repair/modify the things which are not in accordance with our interest.

If repair is not possible- what to do?

We go for replacement or throwing them out.

Here comes another question. Are we in a position to throw out the things?  – Whether material or persons.

We are the citizens of a poor country. Even Tata, Ambani may be rich as an individual but poor on average. We cannot afford to throw the things out. Then the option left is to repair or modify.

Making others happy- who are bound to be with us always (when we can neither be away from them nor throw others away) is necessary for our sake. It is not a favor to others. We will be happy to keep a fresh and fragrant flower with us. No one wishes to be in a mental asylum.

So we resort to external motivation for our own sake. Then the question is who can do that?

In ancient India, there used to be a post or person called as “PUROHITH” in villages.

Puram stands for village and HITH stands for welfare.

He was priest and the person to think act and advise the villagers’ for their welfare.

He was provided free food, clothes and shelter by the villagers.

He was to spend his entire time on the issues which can give him the knowledge and wisdom to advise the villagers on happy and spiritual living. Since he was relieved of botheration for livelihood he could do that job.

The person first gets the power of self motivation and subsequently to motivate others.

The knowledge used to descend from purohith to grand parents and parents.

So every home was having a purohith.

Modern society killed the Purohith and thrown the old grand parents and parents to old age homes.

Young couples if in trouble look for modern purohiths- psychologists / counselors- who are available at a cost. Though they are better educated – they are lagging in spirituality.

Under these circumstances there is a need to get self motivation. Then take the role of Purohit and go for external motivation.

Though the prerequisites for external motivation are there with the motivator, it is not sure to say that every one gets motivated by such efforts.

It is well understood by all that any object or subject has limitations. Every concept, definition, equations, calculation, statement and design intention have limitations. These limitations or exceptions are found every where. For example one social rule or law says: “Killing is a crime”.

Exceptions:

1.      Not at country border in the battle – Rather the killer is awarded or rewarded,

2.      When it is matter of self-defense it is not,

3.      Killing a bird for eating is not a crime(but not the peacock),

4.      But not mercy killing in some countries.

Ifs and Buts are applied everywhere. Similarly motivation too has limits.

Success can happen

v     When motivator has knowledge and wisdom and ready to use it,

v     Rigidity or inertia of the receiver is below the threshold limit & he is ready to receive.

Brought up conditions and genetic reasons can make the person rigid enough to oppose motivation.

Ways and means for happiness are known to many. But many times they are being washed away by the external influences.

Each time they will be doing a thing which they do accept as wrong. Ultimately they convince themselves that mind control is not possible for them.

In such cases medication is required. In Kerala an herbal medicine (Brahmi) is administered to the children as an intellectual stimulant. Once the threshold limit is crossed meditation can be helpful to attain enough tranquility to get motivated.

Those who have the wish to control or get motivated can acquire and implement the procedures to make conducive environment for mind control.

ORBIT SHIFTING: It can be shifting from higher to lower or lower to higher. First one is de-motivation and other one is motivation when it is talked with reference to humans.

People at higher orbit possess higher energy. That higher mental energy makes them to perform better in any chosen field if given a right direction.

It is like an object at higher altitude possessing higher potential energy. Direction decides whether this falling object or water has to break the head or make the turbine to rotate it to produce electricity.

Electron while falling from higher orbit to lower emits light (light emitting diode).

What happens when an object fall from higher altitudes to ground?

Its potential energy is converted to kinetic energy and ultimately the energy possessed by it becomes zero. When people fall from higher orbit to lower loose their energy to perform any task and become zeros.

If you want them to come to higher orbit -it is like lifting the object to higher altitude so that it acquires higher potential energy. It is not over- give them the direction to perform in a right way.

Why they fall to lower orbit? How to prevent it? How to put them back in the higher orbit?

REASON – PREVENTION – CORRECTION.

De-motivation makes them to fall.

Motivate them. It is that LIFT- ing.

Motivation demands certain qualities in a motivator. In the absence of those qualities lifting becomes only shifting or drifting the problem around.

18. STRESS-ANXIETY-DEPRESSION

In the present highly competitive world stress has got a permanent seat in all the minds. Many advices were given not to keep stress in the mind.

No one wants to keep an explosive device in the pocket. If it is possible every one wants to throw it out at once. Since the method of finding it and throwing out is not easy, there is a suffering.

Any issue, if understood well can be handled better. The link, amongst stress, anxiety and depression, can be well understood with the example shown here.

I want to reach a destination within the specified time without making an accident. I have strong wish to accomplish the task. Wish, Time and Fear of Safety are the parameters involved.

I press the accelerator to increase the speed. Safety hurdles are plenty-hence I keep another leg on the brake. I try to accelerate and brake simultaneously. Desire to reach the destination in time raises accelerator and fear of accident applies brake.

1. The friction or conflict is stress.

1. Time urgency generates anxiety.

Performance gets dropped due to disturbed concentration.

If the performance versus stress/anxiety graph is drawn, the curve looks like a semicircle (upper part). Take the performance on the Y-axis and stress/anxiety on X-axis.

Performance

Anxiety or Stress

Zero stress or anxiety causes zero performance. A sleeping mind is an example. As the alertness or stress or anxiety starts building up the performance starts rising. It reaches the peak performance at a specific level of anxiety. Thereafter the performance starts declining.

Once the anxiety crosses the threshold limit, as the performance become poor, the person is liable to get the defeat.

1. Many such attempts and subsequent failures make the person to get depressed.

The depressed person

v     Will make no more attempts,

v     He will socially withdraw and remain dull,

v     He/she secretly wishes the success to happen, but will not be in a position to put efforts,

v      Always focuses on disparity,

v     Remains dissatisfied,

v     Finds lame excuses for the failures

v     Complaints against others – bringing their negative – a feeling “I am better than others”,

v     Become a recognition monger,

v     Become an easily irritable person,

v     Become passive aggressive (Holding the pressure until it suddenly bursts)-can not be expressive,

v     Highly demanding.

Now the question is how not to get depressed? Prolonged beating of the failure leads to depression.

An initial success makes the person to gain confidence and to loosen the grip of depression.

Intermittent failures should be accepted with sports-man ship attitude.

a)     Take up the things which are easily achievable.

b)     Deserve first and then desire-learn alphabets and desire to become a poet.

Everything starts from zero. No expectation to become hero without zero.

c)      Rome is not built in a day. Excessive time urgency degrades the performance.

d)     No fear about the result. In the IMPULSE-RESPONSE-RESULT, our role is there only in response. Never forget nature’s role.

e)     Think what worst that can happen. Hope for the best and prepare for that worst.

In spite of best efforts, history witnessed many failures of the heroes.

19. AFFECTION-FRIENDSHIP

What the proverb “Friend in need is a friend indeed” implies?

Need is the link?

Are all of us governed by the need?

Are all relations need based?

Yes!!

Affection, attachment, love etc. are all need based.

Physiological or Psychological dependency is hidden every where. If feeding is severely painful even baby’s cry may not help. On the pain to pleasure scale (x axis)let us mark points A, B, C  to indicate severe pain, no pain or no pleasure &  peak pleasure points respectively. On Y-axis Affection or attachment or love can be plotted.

Affection or attachment or love

A                             B                       C

1. Let us say A to B is the pain range in a decreasing order,
2. B to C is the pleasure range in an increasing order,

Pleasure can be either

v     Physiological or

v     Psychological.

The psychological pleasures are name or fame or recognition.

All of our activities fall under these categories.

For the sake of name or fame I bear little pain but at the extreme point I break all the rules of love. If you call me Mahatma Gandhi, I can tolerate a slap but not bone breaking.

I choose fight (forgetting Gandhi and remembering Mike Tyson) or flight (remembering PT Usha). Maturity and wisdom can allow us to walk towards “A”, keeping love and affection constant, but we can never reach it.

Pleasure stage need not be talked about. We are sure to do every thing for that. Other permutations and combinations can be well understood from the graph.

A friend is more than a known/associated person.

1. Long association / interaction leads to friendship.

1. Friendship leads to intimacy- It is the stage where one can check the wisdom and take a decision to continue or part with the friendship. Wise enemy is better than foolish friend. Which mean wisdom is the main ingredient, without which friend may turn to be an enemy. Such friendship is not going to last longer.

1. And Intimacy leads to affection- a stage of ideal friendship- which can last longer. Where the painless sacrifice enter the scene.

What an ideal friend is expected to do?

A friend is expected to

v     Eliminate/minimize the loss of material/prestige/pain

v     Maintain/enhance pleasure, material and prestige

What are the qualities of an ideal friend?

A person can be said as an ideal friend if he/she is a

v     Empathetic listener,

v     Non exploiter of the information received,

v     Conceptual thinker,

v     Adviser taking into account of the strength and weakness of the seeker,

v     Participant in the execution of the advise,

v     Partner in the happiness or sad due to end result,

v     Tolerating the errant behavior and forgiver,

v     Cool communicator

A father, mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, son and daughter can also be an ideal friend -he/she need not be an outsider. Gist of it is that every positive emotion too has limitation.

20. BODY & SOUL

One of my friends was interested in finding the

     Soul,

     Its eternity

     Its power to enter any body.

     Communication between two Souls and

     Soul to god, cosmic energy, universe etc.,

He says body is different from its soul.

It is true if you say I am different from my body.

When you decide to do or not to do certain things, body opposes them. Both Quitting bad habits and making good habits are tough due to this conflict. Both Mental desire and physical desire influence each other.

Then who am I?

You can substitute “I “with programmed life of the biological cell.

You reside in your body.

Life is like

     Software in Hardware,

     Current flow in conductor,

     Magnetism in the metal

     Thought in the mind.

One cannot function with out other.

You cannot see the life, current, software, thought but can be felt the effects of them when they reside in their bodies.

You can see the Hardware without software, conductor without current, brain without thought.

That is the reason why even after death certain parts of the body are taken to use in living bodies of others.

But it is not possible other way around.

Life can not be taken out from one body to other.  We can refer life to the ability of the body which functions. Life manifests itself in the form of behavior, culture or metabolism.

Metabolism mean the ability to   FEED, GROW, REPRODUCE AND DECAY. The living cell feeds itself, grows, reproduces and dies. In humans growth can be defined as both physical and mental. Mental growth includes learning, working for one’s own satisfaction.

When we say computer is alive we refer to the soft ware that is residing in the hard ware and working.

That   -” I ’- , in my body does actions through my body.

The Software or life is a system that contains

1. Information and instructions about metabolic functions (System software) and
2. Supervisory control & data acquisition system (User software).

These two are similar to

1). Ability to listen, understand, speak -which involves many body organs including brain.

2). from the ability described at 1). A person can learn languages, acquire knowledge through them and act in such a way to fulfill the metabolic characteristics.

Body organs are similar to peripheral devices of a computer.  There is nothing one can do about system software.

The system software or metabolism can be referred as I.

User software is developed by the individual by learning from environment or society.

Body has to deal with external world to keep that “I “inside my body to get informed by updated user software.

Pain or pleasure is felt by that “I” which is inside. It is not the body that gets happiness. Through the body the insider perceives the pain or pleasure.

“I ” Or “Wisdom” or “Atma” is some thing like an electric energy / current that is stored in a capacitor or instrument (like a human body).

The Glowing bulb or moving robot or fan is because of electric energy or current.

A Rotating magnetic field is inducing an electric energy in a conductor.

The conductor is delivering it to a load or capacitor.

Even if the conductor or magnetic field goes away, the converted energy stored in a capacitor works for some time and the capacitor is dead in the absence of electrical energy. We can draw an analogy as shown.

Magnetic field – Father

Conductor - Mother

Capacitor – Child

Current - Life = Atma = wisdom

Hence research on that in-accessible insider is not much useful. It is better to quest for how that insider can be made peaceful and happy through our body organs and user-software (knowledge).

Similarly thinking about life after death is not of any use. Learning laws of life is more important than that of laws of death.

21. EXPECTATION

An infant observes or measures the persons and material around with a fresh look. Objects or subjects are studied by means of Audio visual and other sensory organs.

Even elders, when exposed to an unknown object or place or person for the first time, they remain as a spectators or observers. We involve in checking or measuring the behavior or characteristics.

That stored conclusions or perceptions become the basis for future expectation from the similar or same objects, subjects and persons.

Let us confine to the topic of expectation from a person.

Many sensory organs are involved in the learning process. Audio, visual means is the most powerful one.

Audio, visual information about the great persons and their personalities is received from stories (reading books, listening to elders & movies).

The contemporary stories describe an ideal role of a person of that society, in that era.   Those stories reflect the culture of that society. Let us call it as social set point. We conclude and frame an ideal figure of mother, father, wife, teacher, hero, villain etc., from those stories.

With reference to that ideal personality we start comparing actual personality of each and every one.

A Hindu lady in 1950s was portrayed as saree wearing but not zeans. Any deviation from this gives a culture shock and people do not accept it. A smoking lady is still not acceptable to our Indian society. A smiling face, low voice, patience, forgiveness, less talking, mild and submissive behavior are the attributes of Indian woman.

Similarly a student, subordinate employee is expected to be submissive, not to question etc.

We remain peaceful if these protocols are maintained.

Many conflicts / disputes /quarrels that occur between any two persons are basically because of “Expectation”.

• You are expected to do it.

Or

• You are not expected to do it.

Every one brings with him/her the brought up culture. Since we are all born and brought up in different environment, our culture and behavior is different. No two persons can be alike in totality.

A heroine with full make up can appear to have a smiling face always in a movie. But we ignore if the same heroine after the shot slaps a camera boy. Though it is the practice in western world an Indian subordinate employee should not address his/her boss with the word Mister.

We generally go by the stored perceptions, but not by the ground reality or truth.

Hate is generated and retained in the minds against the persons who did not do in accordance with our expectations.

College or home or office: every where people should work in groups. Expectations play a major role here. We expect a particular behavior or response from each other.

Possessing and trying to modify an object or subject in accordance with our expectation is easy but the same is not true with persons.

In material science cause and effect theory is the basis for expectation. Under specified conditions material exhibits constant characteristics. You can expect in the laboratory for a result, while dealing with material.

You may say “I did not expect him to commit that crime”. Man is not cruel by nature but cruel by negative emotions. Emotions depend on many parameters.

Is expectation wrong? No!

It is required. Without it the human society could not be developed to this extent.

Then how to deal with it?

Expect, educate the person or get educated to eliminate or minimize the deviation between expectation and reality to avoid the frustration.

v     Expect a person to do the job well,

v     If not up to the mark find out the reasons,

v     Train or convince the person to do as per your expectation,

v     still not possible educate or control your self to alter or eliminate your expectation to go ahead with that reality

v     Not possible? Replace the person or you get replaced.

Ultimately we have only Convince or get convinced mechanism

When an expected result does not come in a research laboratory what do we do?

We look for the reasons for the deviation instead of crying or worrying.

It is difficult to predict the behavior of a person though the set of conditions remain same.

Here too we need to search for the reasons because human being is also made up of material- biological cells behaving in a particular manner under the social influence.

Psychology is the subject which deals with it.

The deviation which was discussed earlier can be positive or negative.

If the deviation between expected value and actual is positive, it leads to positive emotion happiness. An unexpected gain or visit of dear and near is the example. The troubling thing is the negative deviation. We confine the discussion to negative deviation.

We can consider the life as an industrial process. The process is driven by many process pumps taking out and adding process fluids to the tanks where many chemical reactions do take place. The end product of this life process is happiness or peace. Please note that happiness cannot be obtained it should be produced.

The person is a controller of his own life. It is said every one is an architect of his own life. Every one should act as a controller to control his life process.

The process controller checks the deviation (the difference between what is wanted and what is received) and takes an action to reduce the deviation. There are two ways of bringing down the deviation.

Bring the received value closer to the set point,	I left the job which was fetching me 1 lakh to get 10 lakh
Bring the set point closer to what is received	I started loving the job which was fetching me 1 lakh

So adjust the wish or result.

Every control action requires time. How much?

It should be as low as possible. A PID controller is said to be efficient if it is able to bring the disturbance to normalcy or make the deviation zero or minimum within a shortest time possible.

If the life process is not well understood and efficient control is not applied the end product will be frustration.

Process disturbances are inevitable due to many people (pumps) interacting or influencing the life apart from the nature.

Some times it is difficult to find the person who caused the disturbance.

The industrial process controller does not search for the pump which caused a disturbance rather it swings into action to control the parameter as per the set point. It focuses on the disturbance not the on the cause for disturbance.

But we need to notice the person who caused the pain for a shortest time possible. Then the entire focus must be on the nature of deviation or how to make it zero.

In some issues the deviation becomes too large to bear (in both positive and negative) leading to process trip or loss of life.

For a similar process disturbance different controllers acted differently and end results are Compromise, Divorce, Killing, and Suicide. Majority of controllers accept first two. Cultural, genetic, behavioral weaknesses influence the controller to adopt other two.

The process disturbances pain the saints too.

Error is required for the controller to take corrective action. But the people who mastered mind control immediately apply corrective action to bring the deviation to zero or minimum level.

Another example:

1. I trusted him ( because I feel he is good)- set point
2. He cheated me- actual value

a). Punish him and get back what you lost

b). Forgive and forget.

FORGIVING IS FOR GIVING ME PEACE

It is also an action to reduce deviation. Remember in such case we are not doing any favor to the cheater we are favoring ourselves to get relieved of pain.

When to forgive, how to forgive and whom to forgive is another subject which is not taken up here.

Control action quality and time depends on richness of the stored program i.e. wisdom.

22. WIDTH OR DEPTH OF KNOWLEDGE

Knowledge is nothing but stored information or data base.

If you say he is knowledgeable mean he has a collection of information. Intelligence is different. It is the manipulation capacity connected with usability of the stored information.

Let us say Independent Information Modules (IIM) are the information modules of independent fields or areas.

If some one has more IIMs he has more width of knowledge.

If some one has deeper Information about less no. of IIMs-he has more depth of knowledge but less width of knowledge.

Every person will have varying depth of information about many fields.

Depth can be zero but not width.

Width of knowledge—-

Those who have width of knowledge can be good managers. I can reach the destination faster and easier if I know details about bus, train and flight. Good or bad take a decision and close the chapter or move on to next is their attitude.

Depth of knowledge helps in modification and invention. Those who are able to spend more time on one issue or object can cause modification or invention like a moderated neutron can cause chain reaction. Such people tend to be serious thinkers.

What an industry requires?

Depth or width?

Both are required every where. Products or services or procedures are to modified or invented and to be utilized properly.

Manager and inventor do not live in separate cages.

Any subject acquiring depth tends to be broken in to more specialized fields or IIMs and increase the width.

v     Electrical subject is broken into Electronics and communication.

v     Communication gave birth to television, telephony and wireless technology.

v     Telephony has landline and mobile phone technologies.

As innumerable IIMs or fields are there, If I am interested in width alone it is impossible for me to go in to depth of all those fields. Its converse is also true. If I am interested in depth of a particular field I may not even have a common sense in other fields.

It can be seen in the Newton’s argument with a carpenter to make two separate holes for the two cats he had.

The selection between width and depth depends on the individual’s nature. Ultimately the society requires both.

*************

23. WASTE

Waste in its noun form means not useful to human kind in its present form.

The verb form in the statement “Don’t waste any thing” mean “It was useful but you have thrown it out. You could have utilized it”.

Another issue is waste generation either while making a new thing or by damaging a useful thing.

A.     A material available in its natural form or present form as waste,

B.     A material is useful but thrown out in still useful status as waste,

C.    A material was useful but made useless or waste,

D.    A waste material generation while making another thing.

A – Gives us the idea that “we can change the present form to make it useful”

B – Indicates the lavishness,

C- Indicates carelessness,

D- Indicates improper design (some times waste generation is inevitable-in such cases recycling need to be done).

We have limited resources against rising consumers. So waste affects our economics and environment. A taste to derive best out of waste is the cut above the rest.

A-    Requires creativity,

B & C require maturity and

D requires knowledge (Subject)

Apart from ignored leakages and damages, neglected human intellect too is a form of wastage.

As the Stone Age man was not satisfied with the metabolic needs, looked around the nature to decipher and control it in his favor. The lust for luxuries made him to create better, safer, efficient, economical and elegant equipment and services, without considering the ill effects of waste generation associated with it. Till recent times it went unnoticed.

Waste identification, collection, segregation, modification, repair, recycling or safe disposal is the procedure involved.

Industry requires 5 M’s. Money, Material, Machinery, Manpower and Motivation.

The last one is most important without which other become meaning less. Motivation is the job of management. A motivated manpower can manage well to avoid drainage at design, production and maintenance levels. Motivation can bring in Creativity, Maturity and Knowledge and integrate to weed out wastage by all means.

The whole thing boils down to motivation. If the motivation is the energy to be transferred from management to working staff the medium through which the energy transferred is the faith or trust. If this communication link is stronger the power delivered will be maximum, and with out or with minimum losses. The motivator personality or behavior becomes the driving force to develop trust or faith. The motivator must possess the required level of energy or competency or knowledge.

It is worth mentioning here that creative individuals come from creative society.

Is India not a creative society?

Population of USA —15 crores- number of noble prizes – >100

Population of India >100 crores- number of noble prizes  = 15?

Our Indian civilization is one of the oldest. But wash basin and bath room technologies were brought to us by westerners.

Our ancient royal courts had jokers, dancers and musicians, singers and poets but not explorers and scientists. There used to be a group of people in the royal court whose duty was only to praise the kings. The kings and kingdoms have gone but not the culture.

It was a common thing in western countries to have Columbus and Galileo.

******                           ******                           ******

24. BEST ONE IS THE FIRST IMPRESSION.

There is a saying that first impression is the best impression.

It is true to a large extent because we have the tendency to retain and carry the first impression for ever unless there is a large or gross deviation from the first one is noticed.

We are careful at the first time measurement / recruitment / appointment / agreement and subsequently we do not measure the same person again because of the lack of energy, time and interest but carry the image already framed in the mind.

In the present era we are loaded with so many issues hence review or repeat measurements are not resorted to unless some dangerous situations contradicting our first impression arise.

The errors associated with this kind of opinion (First impression is best).

v     Since it is known to a crook, he will act or behave in such a way that the first impression is excellent and get away with booty.

v     Even if he is not acting there is no guarantee that his behavior remains constant always.

v     Another important thing is issue based measurement. In one issue he may not be lying but may do so in other issue.

An on looker or a person with short acquaintance can not find this varying behavior of another person. But it surely happens in case of people who stay together for a long duration.

Supplier and leader can get this advantage of first impression from customer and voter respectively, since the association is for a small duration.

But it is not so in case of family members and permanent employees where the measurement duration is longer.

We get the social advantage if we conform to social set points.

To get that advantage we try to hide the actual behavior which is deviating from social set point.

Public personality is the one which is shown to society.

Private personality is the one which is hidden from the society.

v     Social set point minus what you have = deviation

Deviation can attract penalty or reward from the society depending upon the nature or direction of the deviation.

Positive deviation can give you the social reward.

Then what should be our stand on this issue?

Time to time review the social set point it self. Check it’s relevance to the present time.

Then conform to that set point.

Once upon a time the social set point was to perform SATI (wife burning herself along with died husband). The social set point was subjected scrutiny or reviewed by Raja Ram Mohan Rai.  After such review only SATI was thrashed.

Conforming to that social set point is no more rewarding rather it is punishable.

It is always better to:

v     Have the permitted set point,

v     Show the society or wear what you have,

v     Have it, what you show, for ever

25. SELF ACTUALIZATION

We can divide the world as INNERWORLD and OUTER WORLD. One is inside the person and other is outside him.

INNERWORLD

I

OUTER WORLD

Material and people.

I have to deal with material and people around me for my comfortable survival.

Child acquires material knowledge from schools and colleges.

Simultaneously the child learns through his/her own observations about the people around which is not taught in schools.

Understanding the people is more important because they are dynamic and help us in material dealing..

Understanding self is most important because with this knowledge, understanding others is easier.

It is the subject given much importance in olden Gurukul system of education but given least importance in the modern education.

Stone Age man was required to know only about material and animals around him to earn his food and protect him self.

But in today’s competitive world every one is required to know about material, persons around and self, for a successful and peaceful living.

The active questioning about one’s own qualities commences the inward journey. Good quality is the STRENGTH and bad quality is WEAKNESS. Increasing the strength and reducing the weakness is required.

I need to estimate others in terms of their strength and weakness because OPPORTINITIES and THREATS arise from these people around.

Our science and technology speaks about MATERIAL STRENGTH and WEAKNESS with reference to its usefulness to the humans.

Ultimately it is the study of strength and weakness of   I- MATERIAL & PEOPLE with a view to handle opportunities and threats.

If I control my self I can effectively handle material and people around me. Each success brings an incremental confidence. Depending on the strength and weakness many smaller & easily achievable assignments are to be taken up to accumulate the confidence. The integrated confidence improves self esteem and emotional intelligence.

26. SOCIAL SET POINT

The society was created by the early man to get the benefits of the unity such as food collection and protection against the animal attacks etc.

As the society is expanding in size, a peculiar situation, which is exactly in opposition to the design intention / original purpose of creation of society surfaced.

Lazy ness or greediness made some members of the society to

v     Grab the food, material or properties earned by others and

v     Kill co-members of the society for the benefits or comforts.

Food collection and protection were marred by them.  Hence it was necessary for the society to set up certain rules and a group of people to see that those rules are implemented. Those rules are the social set points and violators are punished and followers are recognized.

Water flows from higher to lower altitudes by choosing a low resistance path. All biological activities too choose low resistance ways.

Grabbing other’s food is easier than chasing and killing an animal for the food. Any activity that is against to the biological instinct is difficult to achieve.

All difficult activities are only listed as the rules and regulations. There is no law which states people should drink water whenever they are thirsty. Since it is necessary and hence no one needs to tell about it. Rule says not to grab other’s water bottle and drink even if you are thirsty. Once I am thirsty it is difficult for me to resist in doing so.

Since social set points are difficult to achieve education and training has come in to picture.

Even god is created to show as an example to the mankind to follow the social set points existing at that point of time. During Ram period

Man + Monogamy = Ram = awarded

During Krishna period polygamy was not wrong (Krishna and Panchali).

There are so many social set points changing with respect to time.

Here the award or punishment is not to the man it is to the quality he possesses. Though these equations can bring in the debate on definition and existence of god, the main intention is not that.

If you a draw a horizontal straight line at a particular height and call it as the social set point  all the people are found below it with few people reaching the line. Those who remain away are motivated to come close or otherwise punished.

Social set point

Ram                                                                                        Ravan

Why people struggle to achieve the social set points?

v     Social conformity gives them the recognition, fearlessness and comforts.

v     Society gives them punishment for not following it, i.e. to create fear in others.

Then why many people remain away from it?

v     To get more comforts with less efforts / within lesser time,

v     Having confidence to get escaped from the punishment. Ready to face punishment if caught.

Because of Biological and Psychological forces (which are called as weaknesses) they remain away from the social set points.

Some pose as if they are at the set social point but remain away in reality.

There comes the split personality. We do many unsocial or antisocial activities secretly (Private Personality) but do not declare them.

Public personalities show the public what actually they are.

Another aspect of it is, if you achieve a social set point it is the natural tendency to expect similar achievement from the people associated with you.

I have not taken the dowry hence I argue dowry taking is a heinous crime but do not talk about the bribe in which I am involved.

Stone Age man never did any thing for the sake of the fame. It is not a natural biological feature. No animal tries for it. Where from this need came from. Why people run after it. Because it is a social set point. Society admires it. A comfort feeling or satisfaction is derived out of it. It is something beyond physical comfort.

Feed and Protect are the basic biological instincts or metabolic features associated with every living thing.

The desire to become famous is not under the feed category but seems to be under Social Protection.

A famous man feels more secured in the society than the unnoticed man. Because the society respects, awards and rewards the famous man.

The man who has more insecurity feeling looks for more security.

All the social set points or procedures should not be followed blindly. Active questioning about their relevance to the present times is necessary. Each generation need to do that.

Some social set points are complex in nature. Killing a person is a crime. There are many exceptions, which are mentioned else where in this booklet.

During review of social set points if it is found that a particular social set point is not genuine or relevant to the present times it needs to be revamped or restructured or eliminated.

27. CREATIVITY

1. AN EXCESSIVE FEAR ABOUT FAILURE:

From our child hood we learnt success is rewarded and failure is punished, so some of us develop an exaggerated fear of failure. An excessive concern with loss of face due to failure leads to it.

Such individuals are likely to avoid competitive situations. They stick to safe options or participate only in those activities where one is sure of winning. The fear of failure makes one avoid risks.

Many of us feel lump in throat and the cold shiver in feet when making a public speech / interview.

Some times one takes excessive risks to have an alibi for failure. I try to fly like a bird in the air and on failure; I will tell you that I am not meant for success.

In a mild form it makes a person to put forth more focused effort at a task.

In a virulent form it can prevent one involving in activities in which one initially has low skills. On participations only one can make low skill to high skill. The person confines to activities where he is having high skills. This impedes divergent thinking and activities. It can paralyze the person due to stress arising from taking on divergent activities

The acceptance of failure as a necessary part of life is the best way to get rid of this block. Failure simply means that we have to try harder or that we have to take a new track.

1. ALLERGY TO UNCERTAINTY

Maturity is defined as an art of happy living through uncertainty too.

Uncertainty, complexity is discomforting to most of us.

But some are positively allergic to it, mean though they dislike it, take positive steps to make them clear.

Others shrink from an ambiguous situation possibly because they feel unable to cope with it. Uncertainty for them amounts to chaos and develop stress out of it.

They have an excessive need for order, structure routines to simplify the job of living in a complex and dynamic world. They like to tread the beaten path and in the process miss the opportunities that life presents for growth and creation. It does not mean we should invite or create messiness. Though orderliness is maintained, if messiness arises one should not avoid or feel stress to face it.

In a mild form it helps a person seek to clear up confusion and there by enables him to take clear & effective action.

In a virulent form it makes a person shun the paths of invention discovery and creation because of their “messiness”.

The best antidote to the allergy to ambiguity is to experience stress from ambiguity and see for ourselves that it is not so terrible after all. If we can joyfully do puzzles and play games we can surely extract similar pleasure from facing up to ambiguity in other spheres of life.

3. TOUCHINESS: Excessive fear of humiliation and rejection.

This is a serious block if the person has to work with others. The person will have difficulty in approaching others for assistance or guidance. Hence others look at him with suspicion.

Often such touchiness arises from a frail (weak) ego that loses freshness at the dropping of the hat.

If one’s self concept and self esteem are at the mercy of the opinion of others, the natural reaction is to insulate oneself

Or

To seek out those who provide only positive feedback or flattery.

Pain full rejection or humiliation at child hood by parents and associated can cause this.

Due to this

1.      Aversion to meet even interesting strangers,

2.      Tendency to seek flatterers,

3.      Wanting to stick to the same old group,

4.      Coldness to wards “threatening persons” happens.

5.      A bearing of false arrogance or self importance, excessive shy ness results.

For certain kinds of artistic and scientific work touchiness provides a shield from intruding outsiders.

A sense of loneliness may direct energy towards creative activities of a non-inter-personal contact type in which one can get immersed and thereby forget loneliness.

In a group oriented creative works that require inter personal collaboration; touchiness can be a major impediment.

It may also make a person averse to seeking feedback, so indispensable in the creative activity.

A more realistic appraisal of one’s strength and weakness is a precondition for removing this block.

The attitudes that

v     Criticism is as necessary for growth and maturity as praise, and that

v     Love or friendship often is not a first sight matter, but may be preceded by bruising experiences

are helpful.

Finally we don’t have to be loved by others, to work with them on tasks that are enriching to us.

1. EXCESSIVE CONFORMITY;

Conformity is an excessive fear of breaking social norms, the fear of social disapproval.

Fear of failure, touchiness and allergy to ambiguity make one escape into a conformist position. It manifests itself in excessive allegiance to customs, traditions, rituals and procedures.

The roots of conformity go deep in to child rearing practices:  Excessive concern for right and wrong behavior, and the severity with which deviation from socially prescribed behavior is punished.  Brain washing for obedience to seniors, elders, social norms and severe punishment of deviance leads to this behavior.

Herd mentality, lack of independence in judgment, excessive attachment to traditions and dislike of innovations that go counter to traditions.

Some conformity is indispensable for collective existence.

In excessive form it leads to resistance for innovative ideas and divergent thinking, missing of opportunities for growth and self actualization.

Active questioning of social set points, conventions and habits, broadening of culture and rewarding of creative works can break the chains of conformity.

1. RESOURCE MYOPIA;

It is the inability to see the resources at our disposal.

Like the God-Hanuman. He required some one to tell him that he has the capability to cross the sea to reach Lanka.

The ability to perceive one’s strength and weakness accurately and the awareness of the resources in one’s environment are indispensable for overcoming resource myopia.

It occurs due to excessive dependence, spoon feeding, single track existence. (Sheltering from difficulties and challenges, lack of experience in dealing with problems) during childhood.

There will be a tendency to get dependant and become passive. Feeling of helplessness, Participation in a very narrow range of activities occurs. Inhibits risk taking hence inhibits innovation and divergent activities.

Curiosity (the habit of asking around who or where is what) is the managerial trait of drawing readily on the resources of others. Answering the first in a satisfactory manner by the parent leads to the second one. Neglect or bypassing or ignoring the child’s curiosity causes the child to shut the mouth and remain passive.

Parent’s effort to acquire the information and answer makes the child to learn the method of learning. It gives another clue to the child that no one knows every thing by default but know through efforts.

1. STARVED SENSIBILITIES:

Our ability to imagine and to fantasize is abundant in our childhood which is very much required for creative solutions.

But it is starved out by the constant and excessive admonition (scolding) to “stop day dreaming”, “stick to facts” and “be precise”. These are required but with a creative problem solving orientation.

Over specialization in studies and at work too limits our awareness of the world around us.

Besides imagination, emotions, too are starved by the constant pressure to “keep control”, not to be emotional and be rational.

Emotions are the Vectors (having quantity and direction) with adjustable direction. If the direction is not positive all these energy packets do harm/pain the person wearing them in the mind. If they are given the proper direction their energy does the wonderful job and brings many feathers in the cap. A failed student’s emotion has tremendous energy and if directed properly success is inevitable. .

Without the energy supplied by emotions no great tasks could be accomplished.

Idealism, love, hate, compassion, a yearning for peace, as well as ambition are the emotions that have time and again reshaped the world.

Sense of hearing, sense of touch, sense of smell, taste and sight are the transparent devices through which we get outside stimulations.

If these filters are OPAQUE they would block out a lot of sensations that could other wise have triggered creative process within the mind.

Starved sensibilities have to be revived through a conscious cultivation of habits like – playing, moving around, meeting people, watching movies and accepting all sorts of emotions. Though some emotions cause pain, use the pain as a force or energy in a positive direction to heal the wound of self and the society.

In efforts requiring great concentration and single minded ness some neglect of senses can release energy for the task at hand.

But starved sensibilities reduce the supply of stimuli that may trigger divergent thinking. They reduce curiosity and openness and a sense of fresh encounter with life.

7. RIGIDITY:

It is a failure to adopt a new technique or procedure despite the need. In other words a formula approach to life is evidence of rigidity.

Rigidity comes from over learning. It is ignorance, deep seated anxiety or conflict. It leads to – inability to incorporate new information, inability to learn and change.

If the parents have been especially harsh or uncaring in child hood, the child’s withdrawn hostility comes out during adulthood on minorities, subordinates and other relatively defenseless persons.

Rigid people generalize without sufficient evidence of a quality or attribute on one to all members of a class of people.

They accept only information that is consistent with their preconceived beliefs. Inconsistent or contradictory information is dismissed, suppressed, denied or twisted around to accord with one’s dogma.

They fix on to some one specific function performed by a tool or an object and are unable to see, or resist seeing other possible uses. Fluency and mental flexibility is affected.

It provides some protection in a highly turbulent or hostile situation and therefore has some survival value. But it is serious impediment to growth, experimentation and innovation.

Fears	Disabilities
Fear of failure	Resource myopia
Allergy to ambiguity	Starved sensibilities
Fear of humiliation and rejection	Rigidity
Conformity

CREATIVE PERSONALITY & SOCIETY

Creative process consists of cycles of convergent and divergent thinking.

The more time spent on problem formulation the more aesthetic and original the outcome is likely to be.

Divergent thinking uses more energy. Hence without sufficient motivation problems may not be solved creatively.

It is impossible to have insulation from social criticism and also to be a pioneer.

One therefore has to choose what one primarily wants- social acceptability or the glory of being an innovator. Thus, if one has chosen the creative path, one must realize that social criticism is likely. All one can do is to present his innovation in a way that reduces opposition.

Strengthening motivation to grow, create and pioneer and weakening craving for safety and status, provides the needed motivation to change the traits.

There are needs that once satisfied, no longer energize inventive behavior. Needs for power security, money, love etc., are of this type.

On the other hand there are other needs that provide more durable fuel for creativity: Personal growth, for the development of one’s potential, the need to become everything that one is capable of becoming (self actualization).

The need to contribute to OTHER’S GROWTH (extension motivation) is another need. Instead of being concerned only with ones own growth the altruist is concerned with the growth and development of other people as well. This too is an unending quest and therefore an endless potential motivator of innovative behavior.

Finally there is a special need that is perhaps the greatest motivator of creativity. This is the need to create to discover, to pioneer, to do something original and distinctive.

If much of one’s time is used up in foiling others or in plotting to dominate others, where would be the energy to develop one’s potential or help others or do something distinctive or creative?

If one has trust and faith in about one’s performance which can powerfully motivate one’s behavior in the direction of his expectations.

Creativity can be greatly enhanced if

a)     The individual wishes to be creative,

b)     Sheds various fears that block creativity,

c)      Seeks a challenging environment in which innovation is at a premium and

d)     Trains himself in the techniques and abilities of creativity

Creative outcome should

Ø      Have surprise value for the reasonably well informed in the relevant field,

Ø      Be seen by the knowledgeable as useful or elegant or appropriate or efficient

Ø      Give substantial evidence of divergent thinking

Ø      Link two or more previously unrelated ideas or facts in a new way.

Ø      Have the raw material such as impulses, perceptions, facts and feelings

More than the individual creativity, creativity of bodies of people such as organizations, communities and society itself is required. For after all beyond a point, creativity is very much a team effort.

An organization or society is likely to be innovative if

v     It faces a challenging environment,

v     If it has a culture that is open, democratic and merit-oriented and

v     Its management is well understood both for innovation and for implementation of innovation

Creative: example 1: a child found the gas control knob design as faulty through careful observation while his mother was operating the flame.

It has minimum-maximum-off positions instead of maximum-minimum-off.

While the flame is on minimum and if you want to make it off urgently, for a moment you are increasing the flame before coming to off, opposing your intention. There are few more reasons.

Creative: example 2: King ordered a carpet underneath his foot where ever he goes. Footwear was the creative solution. Fork was a creative solution where spoon does not work.

28. CHANGE

Any change in circumstances, financial and physical health bring a change in emotional status either be positive or negative. A converse of the statement is also true. An emotional change too causes a change in financial, physical and circumstantial conditions.

We always like to go to positive state or at least remain in equilibrium condition that is prevailing. Traveling towards positive is comfortable.

Moving from known to unknown locations too brings in anxiety for some time, which of course get subsided once we get confidence and comforts there too.

Parents weep while the married daughter leaves for her in-law’s house due to the reason that she is going to unknown home or location. Resident school students get immense happiness to visit their home town due to the movement from less known to more known or more acquainted location or people.

Electron whole shifting from higher energy orbit to lower energy orbit emits light energy which is in proportion to the difference between those orbits’ energy levels.

When a rich man decides (emotional) to lead simple life the excess money flows out in the form of donations. Goutam Buddha left the kingdom. Bill Gates donated a huge portion of his property to a charity.

Learning or experiencing or possessing a new thing can cause positive emotion provided the new thing does not pain.

Though I get a big buck every month as salary, happiness arises only when there is a jump or change in it. Bonus gives more happiness than the salary. It may be momentary but change brings in emotion.

To keep one motivated, each time bring in a small change but more number of times. Instead of 10 at a time, give one at a time but in 10 occasions.

More promotions bring in more emotions and more occasions to celebrate.

As one grows financially the focus shifts towards more important needs, which are recognition oriented.

A pat on the back once in a while (change from routine) causes motivation.

The desire for recognition was found even with saints.

Raja-Rishi – Vishwamitra wanted to be recognized by Vashishta as Brahma-Rishi.

Rajarishi is the saint lesser than Brahamrishi.

Vashishta was a saint who became Brahmarishi first (hence he is senior or the boss).

Attrition is attributed to lack of motivation too (amongst many other parameters). Incremental change or motivation can keep attrition at lower levels.

29. RESPECT

It is the capacity to benefit or trouble others, which becomes the mark of respect in majority.

What is the feeling you get about a person who is on the next door, simple, honest having no money, power and fame?

A feeling of “may be little more principled, nothing special” arises.  I respect a police constable more than that of a good person. The good person can neither harm nor benefit me.  It is not different when it comes to the god. I choose powerful god to worship. When I worshipped X, my desire was not accomplished hence I worship Y now.

People are either Benefit seeking Or / And Trouble fearing.

Some people believe that god punishes only in next birth. KARMA. If punishment or harming is done in next birth, ignore it. Benefits are required now. Hence commit crime and fulfill dream right now on earth.

Ultimately respect is out of fear or greediness. Time duration for the existence of respect is as long as the power exists. What exactly is the respect?  Respect is an emotion which is temporary in nature.

1. It is an emotion proportional to deviation. Deviation is the difference between the capabilities or achievements of respecting and respected persons. A beggar finds a superior earning method in daily rated labor and hence respects.

1. It is an emotion arising out of finding an art in other which is not possessed but desired by the respecting person. I cannot act in movies but I like acting hence I respect Amitabh bachhan. This emotion increases in value with respect to fame of the respected person. More famous a man – more respect towards him.

1. It is an emotion arising out of fear of getting harmed.

1. It is an emotion arising out of desire to get benefit or profit. In 3^rd and 4^th case power and money are taken in to account. It is near impossible to respect my junior who possess admirable knowledge (more than me), because power deviation is perceived by me as more important than knowledge deviation.

These emotions are individualistic or personal, developed under brought up influence.

This embedded emotion comes out only during the presence of the respected person.

Any thing out of sight means out of memory. How many times I can remember my near and dear ones? It is because we have lot many things to deal with every day.

This respect varies with reading about a person, listening to him and seeing him. Seeing is better than listening and listening is better than reading. The respect feelings that arise due to reading about, listening about and seeing a hero are on increasing sequence.

Respect is a combinational game of deviations.

If I have a better value in one issue than you, though in all other issues you are better than me, I don’s respect you. I use that point to pull your image down and show as a reason for not respecting you. We find a reason not to respect others. In fact finding a reason to respect others help us in improving our own qualities.

Excessive respect leads to sycophancy or worshipping.

Respect is not meant for only appreciation, folding hands or bowing head. Similarly disliking or hatred is not only meant for throwing stones and be away.

Person + good quality=hero

Person + bad quality = zero

Though respecting can be an initial response, it should be followed by measurement of that quality or value and adopting it or taking out from us depending upon his good ness or badness.

Hero or zero is not born but made here in the society.

See, appreciate, like it, bring it, add it as one more feather in the cap and have gratitude.

One must be brave to show respect or gratitude towards the right, irrespective of his money, power etc. These respecting actions first tell us that we are inferior to the respecting person. But it is truth. We have to accept. The act of respecting or showing gratitude causes discomfort. One must overcome this feeling.

If this feeling is not removed through conscious efforts, stress develops each time they force themselves to wish a superior.

Check whether it is a surreal respect for survival or real respect for the value. In both cases accept the truth. One should not do the things which he strongly dislikes. It leads to heavy stress.

Those people who live in smaller colonies tend to have this problem. Every one wants to become the General Manager at least for his home. Subordinates are constantly reminded of their lower position both at work spot and at living places, by mere appearance of seniors, causing stress to them. Acceptance and conscious efforts reduce the stress. As long as the respect is not meant for any undue advantage or not out of fear of harm one need not feel the lower position or status.

Other side of the coin is that the respected person starts gaining confidence first which turns to be superiority over a period of time with more success and subsequent respect.

But it is immaterial to us. If some one possess a better value or quality accept it and try to possess or achieve the same with a due respect and gratitude.

30. JOVIAL

What is a joke?

It is an exaggeration of grain of truth. One truth linked to an untrue thing or truth is shaped in an abnormal form.

Why people laugh?

When they visualize the linking of truth with untrue or abnormal things laugh takes place. When we try to correlate or link normal to abnormal an emotion – laugh occurs. Walking or running is normal and falling is abnormal. Looking at an unusual thing makes us to laugh.

Visualization or imagination is required, focusing only on to the scene which is made through the statement. It is not required if the scene is directly occurring in front of us. Visualization or imagination is a mental faculty required for creativity.

While I was on the way to bus stand to catch a bus, my friend who met me on the way asked:

Where are you going?

I said” bus stand”

He questioned – Is it to lift the luggage?

It is a joke. It contains two things which are known to me at the time of listening to joke.

v     Porter lifts the luggage for the money at Bus stand. – It is truth.

v     I am treated as porter- It is not true, it is abnormal, which degrades my position.

I laugh only if I am not considering my self in the porter position. Otherwise I get offended instead of laughing. Psychology of the individual differs. People with low self esteem will get offended.

But it is an acidic joke and should be avoided.

To laugh at acidic joke one must have neutral mind. Those who have fear of humiliation and rejection will be sensitive and always look at joke as meant for humiliating them.

Either joke must be neutral or mind must be neutral to laugh.

Joke type	Neutral mind	Low self esteem
Neutral joke	laughs	Laughs
Acidic joke	laughs	Irritates

In a caption less picture joke, a man sitting on a cow with a long stick tied with green grass at the end and stretched the hand so that the cow can see it. Cow starts running to have it.

Cow’s desire to have the grass is truth.

But we know it is not possible-abnormal.

We laugh at it.

If the cow face is shown as some one’s- it is an acidic joke on that individual. Even without such depiction some people assume themselves in the cow face and get irritated. Suspicious reception of joke and negative perception is the characteristic of such people and it ends up with negative result. It is better always to get their faith first and then start with neutral jokes while dealing with such people.

Why laughing at jokes are connected with creativity. The attitude to laugh is an indication of neutral visualization / imagination (strength) and bearing capacity of little humiliation.

There should be a driving interest to enjoy. A conscious effort to enjoy jokes can keep stress at a bay.

Encourage others to cut neutral jokes. Sometimes their acidic joke may tarnish the image of other. There too we can smile and express / explain our concern little later. With this I can educate and elevate the quality of the joke and retain a jovial person who will be the stress buster for me in future.

No wise man can perceive my image as low just because of one joke or comment. If some one depicts me as a porter in a joke, people laugh it off and forget. They don’t treat me as porter for ever. Even it occurs for a while it can be repaired with our consistent maturity/wisdom/acts/activities.

31. VIEWING ANGLE

A bangle on the table takes the shape of circle from a straight line as you change the viewing angle from horizontal to vertical. While your eyes were horizontal you tell me the bangle is like a straight line. You are not telling lie. It is true. Then can a bangle be like a straight line? The viewing angle fools us. Similar to it is the parallax error which is known to many people pursuing science.

So it is proven that viewing angle matters a lot. It is not only true in watching the objects but also applicable to life subjects. Here in this case angle is not the one that is measured in degrees. It is the conceptual angle. Bad becomes good if concepts are changed. Aggressiveness becomes submissiveness if the truth is known. A rope in the darkness becomes a snake. Concepts bring emotion. Emotional angle too distorts the issue or subject.

People from my state always help me & other state people are bad -misconception

A question like:  Are Ambani brothers helping each other?

brings in the right conceptual angle. It makes me to understand that good people are there in other states too.

I want to view my self or measure my self. Here too conceptual or emotional angle plays a major role. I am better than others concept makes me aggressive. There can be people better than me- reduces aggressiveness or superiority feeling.

Talk to yourself, question your self or criticize your self as an outsider. While looking at yourself behave as if you are a different person and then measure.

A bird view can give us a true picture of whole system spread over a large area. More area can be seen as you fly to higher and higher altitudes. A famous astronomer- Carl Sagan got enlightenment when he has seen the human home- the earth -from a far off point in the space or universe as a tiny dot through remote cameras. (Courtesy: Ms. Sai Amutha Devi, IFA, HWB – Pale blue)

[[[["We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us.

On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives.

The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.

Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturing, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe is challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.

In our obscurity — in all this vastness — there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

It is up to us. It’s been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience.

To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.

To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”]]]]

A visit to grave yard during funeral changes your viewing angle at life. If I keep an eye on my own death and carry out activities they will be matured. On listening to death warning or at least on death bed our concept towards the life changes. As long as we or our mind is involved in small matters broader view is not possible.

Why when we look at others problem get a solution quickly but not in our own case. Emotional involvement or emotional angle disturbs us to see the truth. When emotion strikes we miss the over all picture-hence wrong decisions.

Since you are looking at others problem without emotional involvement there will not be any judgmental error.

When and why we can look at others problem?

It happens when we have desire to listen, understand and solve others problem to make them happy. It is an external motivation.

What is the use?

Since you know the nature, size and the way to solve the problem, the expertise gained can be used to solve your own problem of this kind with confidence, ease and accuracy. So, external motivation is for our sake.

32. CAUSE AND EFFECT

Who other than god can create such a beautiful & wonderful thing?

It gives an indirect meaning that somebody must be there behind every thing that exists or going on. We were taught to believe that way.

We were listening to

“You did it nicely”

“He damaged it”

“If no one touches it how can it fall down?”

We attribute every existence or act to a person.

We went to the extent of believing Sun and Moon as Gods.

A force or energy or material is required for a creation or existence or status change or destruction. A person or living creatures can cause only few things. If god is also a person he/she can do few things only.

Do forces not exist with out person or God?

Were forces not there before existence of human beings?

Electricity is a force, magnetism is a force. Gravity is a force. Who created them &

Which religion God created them?

Are we worshipping electricity, gravity and magnetism treating them as gods?

Universe is created, maintained and destroyed on its own. Stars die and take birth basing on some scientific principles. Our sun is a star.

Trillions of suns constitute a milky way.

Trillions of milky ways become a galaxy and

Trillions of galaxies together form a Nebula.

Can we locate a person called as god in such a gigantic setup?

I can not imagine a god with one leg on sun and other on moon, spinning stars, milky ways, galaxies and nebulas with trillions of hands?

If the god takes the shape of nature or energy or force or an attractive shape to focus our minds to get the concentration and relaxation it is ok. In fact any thing we like can be made as an object for relaxation. It is a diversion technique. Faith or reverence or desire with focus can divert our mind for some time and relieve the pain.

Except this fact all associated activities or procedures are meaning less. Whether you pray nature or energy or not it is going to act on its own rules. Touching a live electric wire without insulating the body causes electric shock. Jumping from an air craft without parachute can cause damage/loss of life. Nature or forces have no favoritism.

Breaking the coconut, lighting up lamps and in scent sticks can not become the cause for chain reaction. Certainly it causes a reaction from the other religious groups present at that time.

Life came to existence on earth much later than formation of earth and moon. Where was the god during those days? When we discovered him and where? Where from we got the news about him?

Under certain pressure, temperature, electromagnetic field intensity, PH, conductivity, presence of lava from volcanoes, lightening, turbulent ocean waves and many other parameters helped the life to come to earth.

Our ancestors created a god due to lack of knowledge, or fear or insecurity prevailing during those days. Primitive man’s life was under threat always due to animals, unfavorable weather conditions and unhygienic practices. “Plead and get the food and protection” from others may be the root cause for worshipping.

He could imagine the shape of the god as a person with animal heads (which were known to him at that time) or a person with more than one head or with many hands. We can find the weapons too in their hands which were in existence during those days. Vehicles used by the gods are again animals. I have not seen a god with dinosaur’s head and a Toyota vehicle.

Subsequently man used the God to set the social standards or set points for the common man to follow up.

Gautham Buddha and many divine personalities dispensed with gold and told us to do so. But we brought him back to the golden throne and made him to sit on it and worshipping. In addition Golden Buddha statue was made opposing his view.

As long as the belief in God is not causing pain it is need not be scrutinized. Priority is not given to the divinity but to the statue and rituals or procedures. Procedures irrelevant to present situation and un-understandable mantras were extensively used.

Pleasing some one is easier by offering sweets, breaking the coconut, lighting a lamp and scent stick in front of it than achieving the divinity he/she had. With praising or pleasing my duty is over.

Otherwise I should understand what principles made him a god and how to achieve them and how many years it takes to achieve them.

Funny part of it is smugglers and thieves sharing their booty with Gods.

God has all power still he needs a weapon in hand.

God is every where but he was arrested and kept in temples,

We will visit him there only by paying money- special (darshan) visit, he is manageable with money,

Even in temple prime minister first and home minister next philosophy exists,

Mind is not linked to divinity but to procedures.

Caves man does not know god- modern man does not know divinity.

If I have reverence to god I should have reverence to the divinity & adopt it or possess it.

33. PROBLEM SENSITIVITY

Management begins at home. Since majority of events, issues, either emotional, or financial or physical or decorative are resolved in an amicable way; when we are in any management doubt, can look at HOME to get the clue. Any one of the family can take the role of hero, zero, leader, follower, master, and servant depending on the situation, at any point of time. It is a mixed and flexible setup. Though I may be a director at office but should take the role of actor at home, if demanded.

Each member of the family has rights and responsibilities depending on their age, stage and capabilities. Problem or abnormality sensing, solving or at least reporting is to be done to keep the family going.

Extending the same theory to the society or institution or organization as a whole, every member of the society has a responsibility to sense any problem/abnormality existing either with a

v     Product or material or

v     Service or

v     Situation or

v     Social set point that exists at that point of time.

The member may

v     Learn (through questioning) or

v     Solve or

v     Report or

v     Generate theory or

v     Confirm the theory or idea.

Problem sensing is for my sake. If social tree grows healthier, taller, wider, mightier fruits can be sweeter and shade can be cooler.

Sensing a problem is a habit which begins at home. The child questions every thing or any thing he/she encounters in daily life. After sensing, the culture or personality of the child puts a limit to his actions which is highly dependant on parents or people around.

Human body is sensitive to changes in environment, presence or absence of certain material internally or externally. Seasonal changes bring in diseases, eating a particular material cause allergy. Presence of abnormal weather conditions and material are the problems for the body.

This problem sensitivity of the body makes us to sense the presence of the problem and make the body ready to take necessary action. We need not put any effort to sense those problems. Physiology of the body does the problem sensing.

The focus is on another kind of problem sensitivity which can be inculcated as a habit and is connected with creativity.

If the behavior of society or social set point or product or service or a situation is inconsistent or not matching with our expectations / thinking we get pain or hate or other milder emotions. It is our expectation with reference to which all other things are measured. Here our expectation may be righteous or not. Let us talk only righteous expectations. We feel the pain and perceive it as a problem. Emotional people sense the behavioral changes in others quickly. This is also a problem sensitivity connected with emotions/behavior.

Look around incessantly, find a problem, slowdown, focus, spend time, involve neutrally, question the authenticity or existence, answer yourself, if not search for it every where until satisfying answer / data is available.

Redefine the problem; look for solution in known and unknown terrains.

Don’t quench the fire / desire / quest with temporary salvation using existing facilities. It is meant for only to cater the emergency need.

Don’t leave the topic – think how to improve or create altogether different solution or product or service using divergent methods. Incorporate safer, efficient, economical, elegant and environmental friendly solutions.

When do you plan to create/modify something?

When you are

v     in pain with the existing one or

v     not satisfied with the existing one or

v     getting bored with the present one or

v     Accidentally, in a combinational play with the existing things.

By virtue of habit many people do not be sensitive to pain, dissatisfaction, boredom and never play in a combinational experiment mode.

We were bearing pain and dissatisfaction with British rulers of India for few centuries.

One should be sensitive to notice the problem or abnormality or unconventional product or service or social set point that exists.

What is the meaning of sensitivity in this context? It is the feeling or pinch or pain. The pain or feeling is an energy which can be constructively used either to remove the pain or at least report to the executor who can do so.

Daily we experience, while walking, the speed/spine breakers and slippery footpaths turning to be fate paths, but we are not sensitive to think-do-or report at least.

Rather we become insensitive either because of the tough procedures involved or attitudes of the executors. Henceforth we give up the problem sensitivity. This habit makes us not to notice the abnormal products, services or social set points. There will be no zeal to question the abnormalities. There by we loose the chance to create something new. Society as a whole remains there or lag  behind others.

If we have the problem sensitivity(habit), we can find many issues with questions like:

v     Why a student requires another language (load or burden) other than medium of instruction?

v     Why tuitions are required (reducing play time and increasing the stress)?

v     Why school should run on shift system-even if infrastructure exists? Many primary school students shift their bowel habits due to excessive time urgency in the morning, leading to stress.

v     Why one sect of people sprays or pours water around the plate before meal?

v     Newton questioned himself, why apple falls down. Introduced gravity to the world.

v     Why cannot we get up from chair without pulling legs back and bending forward?

v     How food enters the stomach, while eating, if I keep my legs up and head down?

v     Why touching the feet of elders only considered as respect?

v     Why not the house wives paid half the salary of the male employees? (they work for 16 hours and are responsible for brighter tomorrow)

Why?           How?             When?             Where?

At home, allow the child to question every thing. Admonishment kills the problem sensitivity. Answer sincerely. Similarly accept the inability if the solution is not known. Search for it by spending time and energy along with the child. Let the child too understand that nothing comes free. Education need not be from the books or school alone.

May be many issues are not in our hands and providing feedback can be a fatal kick. But kicking the habit of problem sensitivity should not occur. The pain or emotion or at least surprise feeling arising out of problem sensitivity can be an energy that can trigger many solutions. The interest coupled with resources becomes the energy to modify or make a creative product or service in the absence of mental blocks discussed earlier.

Let there be no solution, no improvement, but let there be problem sensitivity. Keep on sensing the problems then learn, solve or report and move on.

34. TIME DEMANDING ISSUES

Luxury or comfort is meant for enjoyment. Comfort comes with products or services offered by the technology which are available at cost.

Is this a comfort to the body or mind?

Comfort to the body brings enjoyment to the mind. It is true to some extent. It is true only when body demands it and mind focuses on it.

When you are thirsty – get water- enjoyment

When you are hungry – get food – enjoyment

When you are tired    – get rest- enjoyment

Let error occur then correct it. Here the error means need. Correction means supply.

Getting some thing when there is no need is similar to correcting some thing even though there is no error. Let there be a demand or need from the body. Then supply the product / service so that mind gets enjoyment.

Drinking water is to quench the thirstiness

Eating is to quench the hunger.

Sound sleep is inevitable if the body/mind is tired & demands rest.

NEED is the very important link which converts the product/service in to mind’s enjoyment.

v     Need x Product / service = Enjoyment

If the need is zero, enjoyment = zero. Needless money may change the figures in the bank pass book and may grow logarithmically but enjoyment remains at zero.

Another aspect of the product or service is its liability factor which comes with them.

What is that liability?

When you buy a product or equipment you are buying Time Demanding Issues (TDI) too, associated with that product.

The issues which come along with product demand time from you. TDI ask for time slots from your daily, weekly or monthly routines. They occupy space in your mind. If you are not caring the TDI, they make the product to go on strike, creating discomfort which is against the purpose for which you have purchased the product. Car demands: air pressure check, fuel check, battery check etc.

Since we have fixed time per day we need to allot time slots for various TDI. There is no way to increase the available time per day. Time slot increase for a particular TDI causes reduction in time slot for other TDI. To wash the car I may have to cancel my proposed visit to my mother.

To gain here, loose some where. Prioritization is required to decide which one to sacrifice. Before buying or attaching to any activity we should consider the NEED & TDI associated with them. With initial enthusiasm I made hundreds of e mail contacts quit later due to lack of time.

Some TDIs like news paper reading & watching TV,  fill our memory with unwanted or negative information / data unless filters are applied. Particularly it is more damaging for the kids.

A child definitely needs stories or movies which depict the human values, relations, interactions, expressions, emotions. They are not many in number. With few years of watching movies the child can understand much of them.

Portrayal of many human roles in violence exceeding the reality damages child’s mental health. Even if such cruel situations exist, they are rare.

Mother or father killing their child, is not a regular phenomenon. It need not be shown to a child.

Once the child is grown up he can understand causes and effects. In the name of reality the child should not be exposed to uncommon or eccentric things. This information raises a doubt “whether my father or mother too is like this?” stress is generated in the mind.

This way many TDIs eat away our day’s time and make us dissatisfied about the pending issues. You might have heard the statement “For the past few years I was planning to visit my brother, but I am not able to do so”.

We miss real pleasure giving nature (sunrise, sunset, clouds etc,), human interactions.

If the human interaction is less, lesser is our capability to communicate effectively, with each other.

So it is better to have only needed TDIs with filters. If it is lesser it is better.

An eatable too is a TDI in terms of health care later if filters are not applied. Once upon a time only festivals used bring sweets home. I mean sweets were made only on festival days. They used to bring lot of cheers. Because sweet was not available any where on other days.

Now it is available during 24×7. Sweet is the enemy loved by all.

Availability of sweets and affordability bring them home every day.

Rich food, poor exercise emotional cyclones in the mind (stress) causes diabetes. Visiting a doctor is a TDI.

Lesser the TDIs more time to

v     Talk to children, parents, relatives and friends.

v     Walk or exercise,

v     Enjoy the nature

You may interrogate me saying news paper or TV gives some useful information too. That is true. Unless the ability to filter unwanted is acquired it is difficult to escape from the news about violence.

If the filtering capacity is acquired and practiced then it is not a problem. Since horror or violence is less prevalent or less frequent and has more negative impact than other human activities it should be shunned.

Similarly ghost is a human creation which is non existent hence movies with that subject should be avoided. Other wise ghost becomes the host for stress in children.

Child need not know the violence through newspaper or TV. It happens at a milder level in every home and every child experiences it whenever they go beyond a limit.

Violence can make children either aggressive or timid unless those emotions are smoothened off through parents love and affection.

35. DESIRE- EDUCATION-CRIME

Behavior is the adoptive biological response learned from the perceived information to the stimulus or impulse posed by the society or other individuals or one’s own desires.

Negative and strong desires drive a person towards a crime, while education may act to the extent of slowing down but can not stop totally.

Education is the information or theory about any thing (External), behavior is a biological response (Internal). Education can modify the behavior or suppress the true behavior to some extent. It is up to the individual to use this faculty either to modify or suppress misbehavior.

Education is nothing but collection of information or data about

v     Material or

v     People around (Behavior-psychology) & social set points (law or rules and regulations).

The child’s education in the school begins with “A for apple” and goes on describing the material finding, extraction, purification, fabrication, production, maintenance, accounting, administration and usage.

The material science does not influence the behavior of an individual.

But, Information about people, their aspirations, emotions, philosophy and social set points may put some limits to the individual misbehavior.

When I know stealing is illegal and punishable by individual or society, I may

v     Modulate the behavior permanently avoiding it or

v     Suppress it until I get an opportunity to do so or

v     Break the shackle of fear and commit the crime openly or

v     I may do it secretly.

Here are two basic points to be discussed.

1. Desire and
2. Crime (illegality of the desire)

All the desires belong to one or all or combination of metabolic requirements mentioned here.

1. 1. Feed – Feeding of food material, luxuries or information
   2. Grow – Physical, power, reputation, money etc.,
   3. Reproduce and
   4. Avoid decay

Desires can be strong or weak. The strong desire is a high energy which drives a person to accomplish the task by any means.

Society has put a limit to the desire quality, quantity and fulfillment method. It is crime to cross the limit.

I know what my desires are, but how to know whether they are legal or illegal.

Since childhood, for many decades, we many not be knowing negative emotions, desires, their legality, and impact. It is because,

v     Except law and psychology no education deals with those things mentioned

v     That too after crossing 17 years of age (during graduation).

Hence there is no scope to learn desire modification or control until we know it.

In case of strong desire, even law or psychology education will not prevent a person from committing a crime unless the person knows and exercises mind control.

Conformity to legal or social set points can be either due to excessive fear or due to perfect mind control.

Prior to adopting or adhering to the social set points wise resorts to active questioning about their authenticity and relevancy to the present times.  Permanent modulation takes place when the individual wisely decides to religiously adhere to some of the ideals or standards set by the society and become principled.

Since social standards are dynamic, the educated person gets the updated information hence behavioral modulation is possible provided the person wishes to control and the control mechanism is known.

Crime nature and magnitude may not vary but the method chosen differs in case of educated criminal. Education may bring in more alertness which helps in hiding the truth or escape the penalty.

A person with mal-intentions may remain good throughout the life due to lack of opportunities or lack of courage. If no external restrictions and ill-consequences are there, a good person may become bad.

At any point of time broadly 3 groups of persons may exist.

10%- Remain away from social set points, always,

10%- Conform to social set-points, always,

80%- Move between these two levels depending on the restrictions and consequences.

Knowledge of making an atom bomb is different from the knowledge of controlling desire to get power, money and fame. Computer virus creators are also creative and intelligent.

An inner force is required to steer the desire away from crime, of course with the help of education received.

36. RECOGNITION

On seeing an object or animal or person or surroundings a signal is generated in the mind which refers to the memory cells to fetch the related information. The perceived information is the recognition. We recognize every thing useful or useless.

In fact those who claim that they are not getting due recognition from a particular person are wrong.

They are seen and recognized by that particular person but not in the way they think of themselves.

The actual claim is that the particular person has not framed an opinion in accordance with their claim.

Claimed impression is different from the opinion framed by that particular person.

I want you to recognize me as a hero, but you feel that I am zero. You have recognized me as zero.

It is a mismatch with my expectation. Why it happens. When I show a mango why do you perceive it as apple? Where is the problem?

My feeling is that it is a Mango

Your perception is that it is Apple

Deviation in recognition process happens due to 3 parameters resulting into conflict or pain.

1. Your measurement or recognition  is important to me and
2. My wrong perception about the object (but your measurement is right) or
3. Your wrong perception about the object  (but my measurement is right)

Actual object (real one is only one it can not be both).

CASE-1: Before presenting my self to the other person or persons for scrutiny of my personality, I have an idea about myself which comes through self measurement.

Depending upon my strength or scale in measuring my self, the measurement can be right or wrong. If measurement itself is wrong there is a deviation between what actually I am and what I feel about myself. Then I start worrying about the deviation, blaming others or their measurement accuracy.

Self measurement requires sufficient time, focusing energy (Interest) and measurement accuracy (wisdom or maturity) to look in to self, question and answer neutrally.

CASE-2: If I measure myself properly, know thoroughly what I am and presenting myself for the scrutiny of others, if other person or persons are not recognizing me it can be the faulty measurement of others.

If I am confident about the diamond in my hand I need not worry about others opinion.

Final conclusion in measurement depends upon

v     Number of trials or samples taken over a long period,

v     Accuracy of each measurement (which comes through wisdom or maturity),

Unless we are associated with a person for a longer duration and take many samples with accuracy it is not possible to come to a conclusion.

Since it is difficult to acquire wisdom, spend time and energy with every individual, many administrators, managers use faithful followers’ measurement as the reference.

Unconnected people too depend on rumors to assess a person than the tough measurement process. If a woman complains of harassment by husband or his parents, it is taken as granted and police / judiciary system initiates action against them.

It is presumed or prejudiced due to her long association with them and her status as weaker person.

It is not possible to establish her inaccurate measurement and mal intentions behind.

It can not be taken that weaker cannot commit a crime. Many Maria Monica Susairajs are there in the society.

In an accident, Car owner is punished by the public though the cyclist is at fault, because cyclist is weaker than car owner.

The judgmental error is due to either measurement error (less time spent on the issue, in accuracy in measurement) or dependency on inefficient informers (biasing)

This weakness of the administrator is often misused by the informers for an undue favors damaging others.

It is up to the individual to join the biasing network to get the undue recognition of the administrator or get the self recognition and have contentment with it. With the contentment, if one exhibits his inner-strength and wisdom consistently, over a long period, there is a possibility of getting the right recognition.

Recognition or appreciation is solicited to confirm one’s own abilities. If you recognize or appreciate me for the job done, I confirm myself or feel “yes I possess this ability”.

It is solicited when there is a doubt about one’s own abilities. It is nothing but an inferiority feeling.

37. TRAINING

The nature cheats us by allowing sequential successes, which are directly proportional to our effort. There by we start believing that “success comes through efforts only“.

An act is said to be complete if nature aligns its own influencing parameters in addition to the person’s efforts. Nature’s cooperation helped Henry Becquerel to invent radio active material and its non cooperation made “Alexander to return back from conquering spree in spite of having enough force”. Hence success can never be in our hands alone.

Hence the statement “You are measured by the success you bring but not by your efforts” is unacceptable. It mean “I don’t accept you unless get a success”.

No one can modify the nature (unknown but influential forces – unforeseen reasons) but can do so with efforts.

If some one is failing due to lack of efforts, the experienced can detect and direct the person in the right path to get the success. But one can not wash off the hands by saying we recognize only success bringing people. If it is so,

What is the role of a senior or experienced or guide or training officer?

What is meaning of continual improvement?

Lack of efforts can be either due to lack of subject information or due to mental blocks.

Some people get stuck with many inhibitions, disorders, phobias, which are genetic, social and cultural based. They obstruct them in understanding and applying the required efforts to get the success.

Training is the induced effect or induction effect. Trainer or boss need to provide both inputs to get the required output.

The one who gets the result need not be excited and feel superior to others because there is a provision in the brain chemistry to modify the behavior, in a limited way.

It is like self diagnostic software in the computer processor which checks the processor function and corrects itself.

Similarly those who failed, in spite of their best efforts and nature’s cooperation, need not sink but think that it is the limitation of brain chemistry.

38. DETACH

Learning, acquiring & possessing of information, material and people is a human metabolic character. The acquired and possessed things are repetitively used or enjoyed. Hence we get attached addicted or obsessed to them. Attaching to material, information or thought, values and people is an inseparable process of the life. It keeps us progressing in terms of information, knowledge, power, money, products, services and luxury. Once attached to those listed we start enjoying their presence and they become part of our mind and body.

The object or subject to which we get attached can be positive or negative. Positive ness or negativity is defined in terms of impact on (Useful or harmful) our mind and body. There are good foods, moral values, emotions thoughts and concepts. Though we would like to have positive things, negative things too invade and occupy our mind and body.

We learn to hate, feel jealous, get anger etc., and unlearning them is difficult.

We feel it difficult to throw the acquired alcoholism, smoking etc.,

We attach our self to many negative thoughts or feelings or concepts but detachment from them become very difficult.

Pain results, while

v     detaching our self from pleasure giving &

v     unable to detach from pain giving

But detachment or unlearning is a very important process to keep our self comfortable under adverse conditions. An advancing rocket in the space needs to detach its troubling parts (load reduction).

A greedy, who wanted to become the wealthiest, was told by a sage not to remember a monkey while worshipping god. In case it occurs he had to repeat the act on next day.  The thought of monkey made him mad, not a wealthy man. He could not detach the thought of monkey.

The sage advise was to focus on the divinity (+ve) but not on monkey (money)(negative)

Stronger the attachment worse is the result. Strong attachment with certain values, materials, habits, emotions, desires, persons crushes us to nervous breakdowns under the opposing / adverse situations. A strong wind can uproot a strong tree than a grass.

Have attachment with a detachment facility.

When to detach? What is the bench mark or threshold limit? How to detach?

Unbearable pain is the limit. Hold the rope to prevent a fall until the pain becomes unbearable. In many cases it is an automatic mechanism. When the pain is small we do shift our focus without our notice or without efforts. It is a diversion technique-like watching a movie or listening to music etc.

Every one is physically detached from mother to have an attachment with the world. Mental detachment from memories of dead, over a period of time is a natural process.

An enemy slaps only once & goes off. But I slap my self each time the incident is recalled. I invite the thought for the first few times. Later on the thought invites me. I am attaching myself to that or recalling the enemy. How not to recall or how to disconnect?

Focus on to an act or object or any pleasure giving scene and enjoy consciously with hypnotic suggestion reeling in the mind. The focus shifting has to be practiced every minute of the day. Then it becomes a habit. In emergencies it strikes the mind automatically disconnecting us from unhappy emotions and situations. In psychological terms, focusing on pain with a view to remove it is not possible. Shift the focus to pleasure then pain breaks.

An untrained mind succumbs to such strong thoughts and emotions and breaks down. Suicide is the worst result. Lesser misfortunes are sick mind and body.

A trained mind has an advantage of detaching the mind from the pain, in a quicker and stress less way.

39. INSTANTANEOUS MEASUREMENT

Human behavior is dynamic with respect to time and type of impulse. The dynamism is due to our emotional, physical and intellectual cycles with which our concepts and thoughts are varying.

Severity of a particular kind of response will be varying with respect to situation or impulse. A graph of anger (Response or action or emotion) versus many situations or impulses is shown here.

ANGER

A          b               c                d                 e               f     Impulses

The emotion or response (let us say Anger) is less severe in case of impulse “A” than impulse “e”. By seeing the anger that is shown for the impulse “e” we can not generalize that the person is angry man.

Similarly for the same impulse A, the anger can be higher on other day than what is shown. Seeing him on high anger day we can not generalize the person as angry man on all the days. So the response can be different in different impulses and times.

So the instantaneous measurement can not give the true picture of a person. We can take only the average of a personality as a near true picture, which is possible only if we take or measure the response for various impulses and over a period of time of each impulse.

Good memory of the person is also important who stores the instantaneous values over a period of time and averages later. What I was yesterday, today and tomorrow under the same impulse conditions is to be measured and stored in the memory for averaging or conclusion. In the absence of the memory I take the status of God to Dog or vice versa in the mind of the observer under varying time and situations.

Averaging is the activity which demands the memory, patience, wisdom and maturity of an observer.

A system filled with such observers who lack in such qualities can retain only servers.

40. AGGRESSIVENESS

Grabbing or snatching what I want against genuine objections of the society or people is aggressiveness. At macro level human beings or animals or insects or trees are nothing but a battalion of trillions of biological cells.  Each and every living biological cell is aggressive by default to perform metabolic characteristics (Feed, Grow, Reproduce and struggle for survival). Hence at gross level too we are aggressive by default.

All biological cells eat each other (dead or alive) for their survival, growth and multiplication. Powerful swallows weak. The human history tells us this fact.

Wars are still there but Modus operandi of wars changed. Swords were used to win battles, now words (knowledge is) used to win the economic wars. It is an aggression but in a socially acceptable form.

500 crore people on earth has equal right on coal (Let us assume it as 500 crore tons) available. Each and every one has right on 1 ton coal. Since I have more knowledge, I can earn, burn more coal, wasting electricity for decoration etc, and adding more pollution. I snatched your share of coal, wasted it and added pollution causing discomfort to you.

So we are all aggressive by default. It does not distinguish male-female, healthy- sick, rich-poor etc.  If you happen to see some one submissive or mild you are seeing the suppressed behavior of that person. If the conditions are secured, freedom is ensured and unopposed power is given he becomes the aggressor.

A true inferior status or feeling of inferiority or inferiority complex always looks for revenge or aggression. Due to lack of resources, security or Conducive environment, it is suppressed. Such people remain passive or cool or submissive for outsider’s provoking until the pain becomes unbearable or unusual. Then the unusual revolt or aggression results in. It is the passive aggressiveness.  Education, legal or social pressures can not prevent a person committing a crime in such situations.

So there are 2 conditions under which a suppressed person can become aggressor when there is a :

v     Too much pain to bear or

v     Conducive environment

Such people get tired easily, unresponsive, are late frequently, exaggerate other’s faults, argumentative, and procrastinate (postponement).

Education and social set points coupled with punitive system puts the limits for such aggressiveness. Aggressiveness or submissiveness, if allowed to continue, becomes a habit. Time is required to get habituated or reversing it.

An aggressor becomes submissive, if repetitive defeats, losses, painful emotions or unfavorable conditions prevail. The tragedies not only make the person submissive but also trigger spirituality or bring in reality.  All of us will be swinging from 0 to 100% of aggression scale depending upon external threats or opportunities.

41. BIAS (PREJUDICE)

It is a preformed opinion, usually an unfavorable one towards a person or persons, based on insufficient knowledge, irrational feelings, or inaccurate stereotypes.

It can happen in two ways.

1. External bias: basing on external feed back or reports.
2. Self bias: basing on own measurement errors.

Ultimately it is the measurement error (one’s own or others’) that creates problems. Since accuracy and number of measurements are required to arrive at the truth one needs to apply wisdom (maturity) and spend sufficient time respectively while carrying out measurements.

It is a difficult task. Hence one resorts to frame or form an opinion about any thing basing on others feedback.

In the absence of wisdom (light) we tend to conclude a rope as a snake in the dark.

If I want to conclude my own experiment or investigation with few samples (lack of time and patience), I need extrapolation.  If I find cheaters at Hyderabad Airport, railway station and bus stand I conclude my experiment as “All Telugu people are cheaters”. It is a biasing attitude towards a group. Similarly biasing attitude towards a particular person is formed basing on external or self bias.

If not all, many or at least few people may change their attitude or behavior over a period of time.  Hence reevaluation or review is required, before jumping to conclusion.

Since it is inevitable for the busy persons to depend on some one for information, care must be exercised while choosing them for subsequent information dependency. Intermittently the chosen persons too need to be scrutinized for their crookedness.

In the close circles one must resort to careful measurement and spend sufficient time for framing the opinion other wise prejudices can strain the relation. It can be equally damaging for both the persons involved.

42. FORGIVENESS / TOLERANCE

When I am pained due to unreasonable or unsocial acts of others, what should be my response or reaction? There are 4 options

1. Vengeance or Revenge
2. Punishment
3. Grievance or Complaint or
4. Tolerance/Forgiveness

Vengeance: it is an emotion followed by act of victim going to any extent to vent off pent-up emotions. It is some thing like blasting without any limitations. Law looks at this act seriously. It leads to consequences ranging from mild punishment to hanging of the person involved. The consequences don’t stop with the pain to the person involved but also spread to persons associated with him who do not necessarily be involved in the act.

Punishment: A well thought of act aimed to pain the wrongdoer in a limited way. The aim behind is to correct the person. It is limited by the wisdom level of the individual. But the question comes whether every one is allowed to punish an offender? It is nothing but taking law in to hands. Now in the home front too, limitations are there even to punish family members. Teachers too need to refrain or restrain themselves from punishing the students.

Grievance or complaint: This option is socially accepted and the whole judiciary system is made for this. Like any other system, this system too has virus spread up to the grass root level. Though many antivirus programs are there, new virus generation is there faster than the correction. One can try for this. Though access is not denied, success is not guaranteed and delayed results are frequent. Delayed result too comes with a price tag: Time, energy and money. The looser weeps in the court but winner weeps at home: after seeing the account of money spent and pain had in the battle. One must strike a balance between victories with pain and detachment with tranquility.

Forgiveness / Tolerance or bearing the pain: The term detach with peace mean:

v     Express the pain with a view to correct

v     Complain if results are promising

v     Leave it, if complaining costs a lot, without keeping the pain.

The difference between forgiveness and tolerance is: First one is off line & the second one is on line. While the offender is right in front of us and paining- On line – not reacting is tolerance. The offender came later with apology (which need not be verbal) – offline – accommodating him is forgiveness.

Tolerance / Forgiving can be a strength or wisdom if non reacting person is capable of reacting.

The act of non reacting timid person should not be considered as tolerance / forgiveness.

Intolerance can sprout when involved persons are not known to each other. It is because of non involvement or lack of association.

My Headache is more serious than my unknown neighbor’s death.

Association leads to friendship which in turn leads to intimacy. Association and smile increases tolerance levels.

When we can neither forgive nor take action a negative emotion arises: Hatred.

To hate, we need to spend energy to

v     Pinch our self / pain our self

v     Maintain alertness or remind our self to hate

v     Prepare our self to harm

Loose

v     Enjoyment,

v     Relaxing,

v     Focus to develop and construct the future.

So forgiving is for giving us peace.

An important aspect of the pain is its magnitude. It influences all the four methods described. Severe pain makes the person to go for revenge. Lower pain levels calls for other methods.

That is the reason why one should not cause severe most pain in any one. Leave the scope for further paining (as a matter of correction). Start with mild pain. Keep increasing it so that the sensible person understands it at the early stage and with draw from indulging the things. There is a mention about it in our ancient scripts as

v     Sama,

v     Dana

v     Bheda and

v     Dhandopaya

Even if the pain is mild one may perceive it as severe. It depends upon the sensitivity or sensibility or the culture of the person.  The perceived pain will be blown out of proportions by the person involved and goes to the extent of suicidal attack. The character “Dhuryodan” in Mahabharata reacts to the laugh of Dhroupadi, to the extent of self destruction.

One must have the wisdom to not to feel the pain but plan. Pain perceptions are to be basing on the truth or to the actual size and keeping an eye on the final destination size i.e. 6 feet x 3 feet under ground.

What ever said is about our response under unreasonable or unsocial act of an enemy (Declared enemy). But one needs to check whether:

Is it really unreasonable? Or do we perceive it that way? Is it a measurement error?

Another case is:  when a person is introduced to me, the introducer (if trust worthy) will bias me with his views, about the introduced person. If the bias is negative it is done in the absence. So the introduced becomes “portrayed enemy” to me.” Though an intermittent cross checking takes place, the gross image is mostly the biased one.

The 4 acts or attitudes described “Vengeance or Revenge, Punishment, Grievance or Complaint or Tolerance/Forgiveness” are not applicable in this case. When the portrayal is from the trusted brush we mostly resort to an “advertising campaign” which is a subset of complain. Apart from it, an attention remains in the mind. This constant attention leads to tension unless one is skilled to manage it.

The “always alert” mode is not preferred by some people who take an alternative path of keeping the person at a physical distance.  In this mode advertising campaign continues and hatred or alertness sprouts whenever the person is seen. As long as there is no association / interaction, it is ok. If frequent interaction is required it leads to conflicts.

Keeping the person at a physical distance doesn’t allow us to “estimate the person in dynamic mode” or to take necessary samples with accuracy. The estimation is required to escape from the accidents as long as we are on the road.

Keeping the person at a mental distance than physical is a better option in a management perspective. Though 0 has no value when stands alone but assumes a mighty role when associated with other 9 intellectuals.

Even with the declared enemy, after applying all the methods, finally we resort to keeping a mental distance only for peace of mind.  In this mode, interaction takes place as and when required only. No sharing of secret & intimate information/feelings takes place. Emotion or thought sharing is limited to neutral topics, like dealing with a stranger.

43. IMAGINATION

Man is bestowed with the faculty of imagination. Imagination can be some times an extrapolation or nonexistent setup. It is an invisible setup or scene created in the mind involving people or material of

1. Past or future,
2. Pain or pleasure
3. Object or subject.

A great deal of mental troubles is due to the negative imagination. Positive side of it is human creations (Products, Services). Flying bird triggered an imagination of flying man, which led to the invention of aircraft.

Difficulties in controlling the mind arise from our habitual wrong use of this faculty. It is common practice with many of us to indulge in what is called emotional kite-flying, day dreaming and wild, meaning less and purpose less speculation of various sorts.

Our expectations may be imaginary, without any basis in fact, but they bring us real disappointments. Our fears may be base less but they cause genuine trepidation in our heart. Through exercising our power of imagination we make unreal things real for our selves. Creation of a person with super natural powers and dependency on that person is also due to it. Superstitions find their home in it. In its excess form it is a psychological disorder called as Schizophrenia.  The story tells us both positive and negative effects of the imagination.

What are you carrying in your bag?

Mongoose!

What for?

I am going to bar to have alcohol. Soon after having it I see the snakes around.

So what? They are imaginary.

Yes I am carrying another imagination – see this empty bag.

To counter wrong imagination we need to generate RIGHT one. If a pain oriented imagination is ruling the mind, better way to get it rid of is to enter in to a counter imagination as explained in the story. It is a diversion technique.

If the imagination ultimately results in planning than paining it is the right one. In the story the right imagination could drive away the pain with a planning.

Whether the imagination is pleasure seeking or pain rejecting one has to keep in mind of the social set points.

Imagination shall not be confined to a single object or subject for a longtime. Every imagination has to drive a person to wards an action: Attach then Achieve or detach and forget. I cannot keep on imagining a bridge across the river without moving a brick.

If the imagination is purpose oriented or leads to a purpose, it leaves a positive effect on the mind.

A persistent thought about a failure leads to guiltiness and depression. Think for a while and end up with an action.

Preoccupation of mind with thoughts or acts which give us peace and pleasure (within the legal frame & without paining others) is the best way to keep negative imagination at bay.

A pleasure filled (with pressure) vessel may leak the pleasure out (sharing the happiness with others) but does not allow pain liquids to enter it. In case the pain pressure exceeds the pleasure let the controller swing in to action to bring the disturbance to normalcy within the shortest time possible.

44. UNIT HEAD

Head of the unit can be either a person elevated from the lower ranks of the same unit or from the other unit. In any case it is a question of known personality or unknown to the employees of that unit.

CASE- I. When the head is grown from the same unit the employees might have witnessed his ups and downs both in terms of technicality and personality, during the growth process.

There is nothing to say if the person is born and grown as hero.

Other wise the past failures, losses, insults faced by him become the basis for the present dealings.

Psychology keeps changing when the person wishes to do so. It is worth remembering here that “every saint had a past and every sinner (who accepts and tries to correct) has future“.

Behavioral Changes may occur in a person without any effort too but can be in an unknown direction.

Even in a best case (errors are detected, accepted and efforts are ON for correction), a positive change demands lot of time.

During that change process too, the behavior may not abruptly change. The gradual change process sees lot of slips from the determined path. Each slip or failure is a refreshing signal for the observer.

In general, memory of the observer gets faded if not refreshed but refreshing is inevitable due to long association & slips. The gradual change is not recognized by many-only slips are noticed.

Maturity is required for consistent measurement with accuracy to notice that change.

Conclusions remain same until unless changed behavior is steady for longer duration. The person needs to work harder to bring in such change.

At a lower rank it is quite possible to spare sufficient time for all the subordinates because they are few in numbers. As one rises, more and more employees fall under his jurisdiction. Hence the time slot allotted for each reduces. It may become zero for lesser important employees (functionally).

It certainly makes more dissatisfied employees. It happens for no fault of the grown head of the unit.

Every employee’s contribution, either directly or indirectly, matters for the over all success of the unit. Human emotions are same at all levels. Hence the grown boss, to satisfy such needs, has to put an extra effort, to motivate them.

CASE- II. An unknown boss has an advantage of having blank papers (no image about him in the minds of people), where anything can be written fresh. He need not begin the journey from minus scale instead it begins from zero of the scale to build the image.

Though the amount of effort may vary in these two cases, the common goal is to build good image to motivate the work force.

Functional superiority does not automatically bring in the good image.

It may create fear in the employees who are excessively concerned with undue advantages or who fear to loose certain facilities / benefits. The fear may be falsely shown as respect.

The functional superiority when coupled with good image gets transformed into natural superiority with which one becomes a role model.

Why to build that image?

Motivation is not possible in the absence of it. The positive image reduces the communication resistance and improves the trust / faith.

People died / followed Gandhi, not basing on the office order issued by him.

Unit head has to motivate the work force to achieve the intended results to prove his/her strength which in turn decides his/her future.

How to build the image?

1. I do it and you too can do it,                                  : Criminal
2. I do it but you don’t do it : Aggressive Criminal
3. I don’t do it and you too don’t do it.                      : Motivator
4. I don’t do it, any way                                              : Saint.

The word “it” mentioned here mean: Indiscipline, favoritism, excessive red tape -ism, aggression, corruption etc. Other positive traits like conceptual thinking, cool expression, good listening, simple living, forgiving, tolerance, hygienic and jovial nature are required.

1. A smile travels more than a mile.
2. A salute (welcome, or acknowledge somebody, either with a gesture or in words) satisfies many.
3. A pat on the back gives positive feedback.
4. Reduce the deviation between own and seen personality

With this, the functionally superior gets transformed into naturally superior person. This functional superiority or elevation disturbs personal life too. Friends and relatives become thin in quantity and quality unless the person gets natural superiority with the traits described.

45. MUSIC

Sound was used by caves man to communicate with each other or terrifying the animals surrounded. Later on he identified the difference between pleasing and paining sounds. Cuckoo’s song is pleasing but tiger roaring is terrifying.

The feelings that arise after listening to sounds are mind / memory linked.

Past knowledge of tiger roaring and snake hissing, trigger the fear. Here the feeling or emotion is fear.

Since number of emotions (fear, happiness, anger, jealous etc) are few in number, their occurrence or appearance is frequent in daily life. Hence all emotions are hardened or habituated over a period of time. Cause is external and emotion is internal.

Either we were told to fear or experienced the fearful situation to generate that emotion. Every emotion is learned or experienced. To get the emotion / feeling that are relevant to the particular sound we need three things:

Sense object:                                    : To generate sound

Sense organ and                              : To listen to the sound (Ears)

Mind : To identify it as per the program stored in the

Mind and Feel or generate emotions as per the

identification.

Identification and emotion generation are mental processes established basing on the memories of experience / training.

The child hood and hence the culture plays a major role in liking or disliking (emotion) a particular sound. When the sound (s) is/are pleasing us we call it as music (music) other wise it is noise/displeasing/terrifying sound.

Arranged or organized sound of instruments or voice is music.

Music + Meaning = Song. As the meaning is involved, the song is language / region / culture oriented. Apart from sound and meaning the song consists of rhythm of many sounds.

When India was not connected well with west, with communication link, to the large extent the western music was not liked by Indians and vice versa. Present era is different. Many Indians are exposed to western music right from their child hood.

There are different types of music meant for happy (marriage) and sad (death) situations. We get the relevant feelings (as decided by the culture) when we listen to the particular music.

The liked subject or object can take us from pain to pleasure platform.

Music too is a subject which can relieve/induce the pain. Hence it can be used as a tool for the diversion of pain.

So Music can be used as a carrier or bus to take us to the emotion or feeling that was stored in the mind.

In a similar way all sensory organs can be used to store sensory perceptions and can be later reached through sensory signals: such as audio, visual, sense, taste perceptions. On seeing a mango (sense object), the tongue (sense organ) is activated by the brain (mind) and we get the feeling of mango taste (emotion) in the mind.

God is also a cultural perception stored in the mind which can be reached through activities like PUJA (worship) / Bhajans (praising songs), if performed with devotion.

The emotion should be filled or occupied in the brain. Then it can act as a diversion technique to relieve pains. Pain relieved mind can easily fill the pleasure in it. Pleasure filled mind can perform better. The fruits achieved are due to pain less or pleasure filled mind but not GOD.

An important technique can be derived from the description.

If you want to retain a beautiful scene (imagination) in the mind for ever attach it to an available/repeatable music.

In the beginning, frequently play that music & simultaneously recall that scene. Over a period of time the music and scene become inseparable parts. Later on the music takes you to that scene whenever it is heard. It is some thing like a number sticker (music) pasted on the bottles (emotions). You can identify / bring the emotion out whenever the number on it is read or said.

This can be used to divert your mind as and when required. It is a kind of meditation.

Any sense object, subject including god can be used for the meditation. In the attaching process the sensory signal and the stored emotion get fused in a calm mind. After attachment recalling that emotion is easier with the music for the sake of diverting or rejuvenating the mind.

Recalling and rejuvenating the mind.

v     While on work let the music continuously play at low volume.

v     Focus on a constructive work for maximum time (Approximately 1 hour) as per the brain capacity. Beyond that time brain starts moving towards fatigue.

v     At that moment close your eyes relax in the chair then focus on the playing tune at that time. The music takes you to stored memories or makes you to travel or glide along with meaning of the song (immerse or sing along).

It is a diversion technique to recharge the brain. Around 5 minutes of such involvement can shatter brain fatigue. The rejuvenated brain can pounce on the work with much more vigor.

Allow the songs to continue. It is similar to Charging and discharging of batteries. Charge the brain to discharge the duties. So music is a battery charger.

The kind of music one loves can tell the psychology (in a broader way) of that person. Conformists love classic music which is governed by stringent rules. Serious thinkers love meaning oriented (analogy filled statements – imaginative) songs. Creative people like mixed types – experimental songs.

Every one has capability to attach or shift the liking from one to another music type to derive happiness. It means one can derive happiness from any, if the person decides and practices. Ultimately it is diversion technique to take the person to pleasure shelter to escape from pain rains.

Another aspect of song is that the search engine in the mind searches for the meaning and analyses it, if the language of the song is known. It becomes the load to the brain because it demands alertness.

If the song is interesting it can be a diversion technique.  In meditation or rejuvenation of brain cells, enjoying / experiencing / feeling the emotion is having much more impact than listening and analyzing the words of the song.

Only instrumental music, sounds of forest rain, ocean waves, chirping birds during sunset or sunrise, river flow etc, with out words can achieve this effect. You feel as if you are in the forest or on the sea shore.

Few hours of chatting (it is also a diversion technique), if not leading to conflicts, quarrels, is equivalent to few minutes of meditation or meditative sleep (YOGA NIDRA).

The scene / feelings that are attached to the music have to be most pleasing or relaxing. I could attach a scene “wheat grass waving their heads as the gentle wind blowing over them” as a relaxing scene attached to a particular music. Whenever I listen to that particular music I am able to enter into that relaxing mode & attain mental rejuvenation. It is like self hypnosis. Time investment in this daily act can yield more task accuracy and speed.

46. DIVERSION – DIGESTION

No one prefers to be unhappy in this world. Every one tries to get pleasure and get rid off pain. Pleasure is the leading symptom of survival and pain is the leading symptom of death.  Pain and pleasure points are located in opposite directions on the zero centered scale. Pain reduction to zero can only allow the pleasure to increase from zero.

Every biological cell by virtue of one (Fighting against decay) of its metabolic characteristics (feed, grow, reproduce and decay), looks for happiness.

Almost all of us are pained at least in one or more issues or areas. When the food I ate is paining my stomach I have two options to quench the pain.

1. Divert the attention to an interesting thing  -  DIVERSION,
2. Digest it by applying digestive stimulants  -  DIGESTION

Every one’s mind by default scans and focuses on paining issues, with an aim to reduce or remove the pain.

Almost every one applies the DIVERSION technique to get away from the pain. It is the least resistance path.

My failure in an interview (a single time event) or an insult can be forgotten by going to a movie for few days. Time is the greatest healing factor or doctor. Such few diversions over a period of time heal my wound.

Diversions may not rescue me if the failure is repetitive or persistent, because of insufficient time to heal.  Here comes the DIGESTION technique in our rescue.

How to digest repetitive or persistent paining issues?

Which are the digestive stimulants available?

LOGIC, PHILOSOPHY & TRUTH – are the digestive stimulants.

Philosophy begins where the logic ends and both together bring the truth out.

Initial life logic (laws of life) application (with wisdom or maturity) can solve many problems.

If not, apply philosophy too to understand the truth.

After applying logic and philosophy the conclusion drawn makes us comfortable.

Then mind moves on to less paining issue with an aim to reduce or remove the pain. I recall and analyze the insult I had, with a view to take a decision/conclusion and remove the pain.

The pain finding program begins every day morning and runs up to night or it may continue disturbing the sleep. The problem is not scanning and focusing on paining issues. The problem is wrong logic application and conclusions drawn. They repeat or aggravate the pain driving us to commit more blunders: as happened in case of Dhuryodhan.

Philosophical statements (containing the truth) are to be applied after life logic application (saturated efforts): some of them are shown here.

v     Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

v     There is no worst more than death.

v     Every one has a limited staying time on earth,

v     When my own mind does not listen to me how other’s mind can?

v     To know the true picture see the both sides of the coin.

They help us in reducing / removing the pain.

47. PAIN & PLEASURE

While struggling with pain OR with eagerness to get rid off pain, we adopt a striking idea or procedure that is descended / inherited from parents or culture and jump to an action.

Instead who applies wisdom to understand the nature of pain [root cause (s), solutions available, their suitability, consequences] can have a total picture of it. One may come out with a creative idea of better salvation.

It is similar to a space craft making number of revolutions / orbiting around an unknown planet before landing on to it. The purpose is to have total picture of it.  No doubt landing is comfortable and it is an end of long troublesome journey. But we miss the opportunity to study and get the better place of landing.

More time and more revolutions can give finer details of that planet with which best decision is possible.

If we can list out the details of every pain giving issue for the sake of research & finding ways and means to resolve them, others can choose the suitable solution to get rid off the pain.

Pain has more embedded energy than pleasure. The energy applied by a boy to escape from the watchman is much more than the interest to steal the mango from the tree. Not getting caught (pain) is more important than eating the mango (pleasure). So pleasure seeking effort of a person is much less than his/her pain removal force. This description conforms that the tragedy triggers the spirituality.

Pain relieving itself is a pleasure. After the pain removal (reduced to zero) the live cell starts looking at larger pleasure.  On zero centered scale both pain and pleasure points appear on opposite ends. Assume pain at the negative end and pleasure on other side. A suppressed becomes aggressive once the painful conditions are withdrawn. Every live cell is pleasure oriented and aggressive by default.

If the pain size is larger and persistent we are likely to get more information about it, provided we are research oriented. Delayed neutron has more probability of participation in chain reaction (series of atomic explosions).

Pain triggers war against pain itself and kills the pain only if its character is known to mind. The mind uses the energy of the pain and kills the pain. Otherwise the insufficient knowledge, hasty decision can be a suicidal attempt.

So never hate / afraid of pain at the same time never invite suicidal pains. It is said “without pain there is no gain (knowledge)”. The pain is a teacher. Pain less life is like a friction less road, where skidding and loss of control is inevitable.

Slips, damages, leakages, losses (loss of material and prestige), insults and defeats are inevitable in every one’s life.

The final inescapable defeat is death and the insult is lying of the body at the feet level of all animals and human being.

Let the pain remain there but plan to know its domain

Or

Don’t pain the pain until the pain reveals its domain.

If any activity, though paining, is continued, it can be due to the focus on survival / threat or bigger pleasure. In other words we can say “either for bigger pain removal or bigger pleasure insertion” an activity is continued. Examples are:

Fighting with tiger for survival

Education for employment – power-money-enjoyment

48. DEVIATIONS

I feel that I own certain qualities, but others may dismiss and see them in a totally different manner.  Why?

I feel that I treat every one equal, but my subordinates feel that I exhibit favoritism. Why?

The error can be with my Measuring scale (in measuring my own qualities) or with their Viewing angle.

In any way the ill feeling due to the deviation has its negative impact in the dealings.

In many cases it is not even known that there exists a deviation but non cooperation prevails.

To know the deviation, reduce the communication resistance i.e. allow others to come out with constructive criticism (how ever small it may be), otherwise they speak else where, which can not be heard but can be felt (the damage).

The deviation has to be reduced to zero or minimum to evade the opposition either by changing self or others, who matter us a lot. Wisdom and maturity can make the scale accurate in measuring and correcting self, and transparency/discussion can change their viewing angle.

Why do I try to project or exhibit my self as Rich / Intelligent though I am not?

It is so because I strongly hate poverty / foolishness and like social importance which is given to rich and wise. And at the same time I am lazy to put efforts to get rid off what I have or get what I want. More the hatred ness towards my present status, greater is the exhibitionism or more efforts to get noticed as rich or handsome or intelligent.

In an interview committee, I ask tougher questions to get recognized as an intelligent / expert than asking relevant questions to suit to the candidate’s post.

If I know and love my self, I will not put any efforts to get noticed.  Rather I put efforts to improve my wisdom/maturity to make my scale more accurate in measuring every thing in this world.

49. ANALYSIS

We analyze the nature / behavior of material and people around and draw the conclusions. Those conclusions are incorporated in our actions. Conclusions can be accurate if feedback mechanism is used.

In the absence of feedback the analysis leads to prejudices. The snake’s blood on the mongoose mouth was analyzed as the blood of the child; hence the poor animal was killed by the father. Ultimately analysis purpose is to dig the truth out.

The Power of Analysis brings laurels when applied to materials. When it is extended to the persons associated one need to be careful about the result or truth that comes out.

If the truth that comes out of analysis of associated person reveals his/her negative behavior / feelings / intentions, it is difficult to digest. But the taste of success, brought by analytical power does not allow dispensing that habit. I cannot leave the habit of analysis and at the same time can not bear the pain due to the truth that is arising out of it. What to do?

Analysis is not the problem. Problem is the truth that is colliding with my interest or opinion or principle. If the analyst is a person of principles he/she expects others to follow the same. As that person adores and adheres or adopts those principles, hates others who don’t have them. Let us say my principle is not to steal the things. Hence I dislike people who steal items.  We can find 4 categories of people.

1. I do it and you too can do it,                                  :
2. I do it but you don’t do it :
3. I don’t do it and you too don’t do it.                      :
4. I don’t do it, any way                                              :

If the analyst belongs to the class A or D he/she is not pained to notice “it “.

If he/she belongs to B or C group pain sets in. Actually the pain is due to “you don’t do it” component.  I don’t expect you to do it. So the problem is the “expectation”.

If the truth that comes out of the analysis is inconsistent with my expectation, pain / irritation results.

The pain initiates an action to either oppose or correct the offender.

If, the offender is a dedicated one, he may continue those acts openly or secretly which can not go unnoticed by the analyst. Severe pain results in.

The offender becomes more efficient to continue secretly and the analyst continues the detection as a matter of habit. The race or game continues and the analyst gets addicted to it. It is similar to the police behavior. This extra and incessant effort makes the analyst restless.

Power to read other’s minds may be helpful in some cases but in case of closely associated the bitter truth that is found may some times disturb.

Though x ray detects a fault in the body, continuously seeing the skeletons of live kith & kin, through x ray eyes is not a pleasure. Acceptance of the truth is only the choice.

Unless, such detection is given as an assignment or responsibility, leave the game through acceptance of the truth to relieve the pain. Anchor the mind to analyze the healthy issues.

Knowing the truth or where the fault lies, if one cannot resolve the problem or raise the voice against the culprit then what’s the use in analyzing the issue?

All knew Ravana’s character but no body dared to say why he is wrong or set him right until Rama entered into the picture showing some cause to punish him.  Is it not?

+++++

Your question has 3 issues

1. Finding the fault,
2. Raising the voice,
3. Resolving the problem

1). Analysis purpose is to bring the truth out. It is something like an experiment conducted in the lab to find the behavior of material. Uranium behavior was found by an analyst or experimenter but used by others the way we are using it now.

In the present context the nature of truth, when to use or how to use it is another subject to be dealt in the emotional and legal frame.

2). We are not living in Rama’s period to kill any one whom we feel or stamp as bad. While dealing with the closely associated, view the truth through emotional frame also.

There are issues which are not illegal but pain us. My son’s wish for my death to get my property pains me. Though I may find it through my analysis I cannot prove it and also it is not a punishable act, unless it is planned or executed. I cannot raise my voice in the legal forum. Effigy burning (It is used by political rivals) is not treated as illegal.

Raising the voice in the present era can be done in 3 ways:

v     Direct communication with the offender & counseling

v     Influencing through non-judiciary or close circles,

v     Taking the matter to judiciary system.

In the present busy world every one is having many time demanding issues in which they are already sunk.  Counseling demands faith for which one need to spend lot of time.

Influencing through close circle (on whom faith is there) may work but there too time and energy is involved.

Taking legal evidence to judiciary and punishing the culprit has its own consequences.

3. Resolving the problem through raising the voice (above 3 methods) is only the choice. But there is no guarantee that the problem would be solved.

Aggressive corrective action demands consideration of many “IF’s and “BUT”s.

Broader perspective brought the legislation “let the criminal be escaped but the innocent should not be punished”.

If there was an arrangement to kill Sita on Ravana’s death and known to Rama about it, Rama would not have declared war.

He would not have taken similar action for the similar crime done towards others. My headache is more painful to me than my neighbor’s death.

So solving the problem by traversing through so many steps is possible only if the pain is too large to bear. Problem solving energy is proportional to the amount of pain received. Rama is not an exception to it. In the present era even if the pain is too large one cannot take the law in to his/her hands. If Rama lived in the present era and killed Ravana, we could find him behind bars. So problem solving by taking the law in to one’s hands is not acceptable.

Even socially acceptable methods to solve certain problems have their own post operative de-merits and bring the pain from other directions. So there is no single successful problem solving method which can be applied to all the problems. It varies in accordance with the type of problem and persons involved.

50. EMPLOYEE

It is the stage where concepts or principles learnt by the student are applied as an employee, on real time basis, to create or make some thing useful to the society through employer.

For this the employee gets remuneration from employer and employer in turn gets it from society. “Learning” platform of the student is transformed to “Earning”.

The student, just before the entry into an organization as an employee, may not have any idea or have misconceptions about the

1. Personal goal
2. Employer  goal
3. Compensation
4. Nature of Work & Working conditions
5. Hierarchy

1). To achieve the “Personal goal” is the answer for the question why the student wants to become an employee? Personal goal of an individual can be a single or any combination of the desires mentioned here.

a)     To earn money with which luxury and comforts can be had,

b)     To earn name or fame or recognition,

c)      To get power or post,

The case of the student becoming an employee by the sheer social pressure is not considered for the discussion here.

All these three (Money, name and power) are interrelated and one alone can be used in a right way to bring in others. Definition of power here is “taking a decision overriding the objections of all the concerned down the line”. What for power?

“To achieve the target set by the employer, by overcoming the hurdles or opposition, through application of knowledge, wisdom & power there by achieve the personal goals. It is achieving the personal goal through organizational goal or employer goal.

2). Employer goal: Employer too is a person or group of persons. Investing Money, Time, Energy, and Knowledge is to achieve or improve those 3 listed (in any combination). So it is necessary to know that organization too has expectations from the employee.

By recruiting a person organization has already made a first step to satisfy the primary goal of the employee. Then the employee without looking for any thing extra should pursue his strength to cater the needs of the organization.

Both Employer and employee need to address those interests of each other to accomplish the common task. Both need to establish a fair communication link to identify and inform each other of the shortfalls of the system & individuals. Sincere efforts on both sides are required to rectify such deficiencies.

3). Compensation: It includes promotions, facilities, social status apart from monthly salary. There are rights and responsibilities for every one in this set up. Give and take policy is adopted here.

As the parents take all the responsibility of child’s needs, he/she knows only the taking policy.  Hence the child is accustomed to put forth demands either at home or in the college. Every employee at the entry level exhibits student nature of course with varying degree, hence fights for rights only.

Hence at the entry level a smooth transition is required through counseling. It is not applicable to the few who are able to assume the role efficiently.

Seeking compensation is a Right of the employee for the Responsibility shown. It is like first deserve then desire.

4). Nature of work and working conditions: During college days every student feels knowledge as ultimate and expects awards / rewards basing on it alone. Knowledge is nothing but information about material/men/machine.

Knowledge alone is of no use. The art of converging / converting the information to create a product or service that is useful to the organization / society will be given an importance in the organization.

Student’s work at college is mainly carried out alone (reading and writing exams). But the work in any organization involves a group of people to achieve every task. Hence team work assumes a major role.

Team work demands an employee’s skill in maintaining interpersonal relations. The skill can be inculcated, if not there by default. Interest to learn and acquire practical skills happens only when he is accommodated well in the setup.

It is nothing but the individual behavior that is measured by others for acceptance in to that group. Behavior is a modifiable trait. Acceptance is the first step to correction. Adoption takes place on acceptance. To make any one accepting the fault counseling is required. Counselor is like a mirror showing the black spots on the face.

A student assumes comfortable working conditions at the work place unless seen those harsh conditions (noise, smoke, steam, vibrations and heat) earlier during an industrial visit. Operating a system or Making a system operable under these challenging conditions gives a sense of satisfaction.

Always there exists never work, always work and negotiable group of employees. Negotiable group can swing between never work and always work groups depending upon management’s attitude. One need to choose always work or at least negotiable group in his/her own interest. Since work is only the connecting link between all employees, a never work type of employee gets automatically de linked from others even for conversations.

Training does not mean only transfer of technical knowledge but also behavioral or psychological or personality. Even after training / counseling if an employee can not upgrade himself it is nothing but his capacity limitation. Better to use his services in matching areas.

6). Hierarchy: Except top and bottom most persons, every one in the system has boss and subordinates. Every employee need to handle both of them keeping the work at the centre of the scene.

Look up with respect and down with affection to fit in to the system perfectly and carry out the assigned job. Executing the given work is not so tough (with strong theoretical knowledge) when compared with handling the dynamic behaviors of the boss and subordinate. Technical, emotional and cultural conflicts do arise and one needs to strike a balance against such disturbances.

Every where convince or get convinced mechanism only works well, to solve such problems amicably.

In such system a new entrant need to be a good listener and observer to gain the information or knowledge about the material and persons. Priority should be given to learning than earning.

Comparison with peers is to be reduced for the sake of one’s own physical / mental health. The employee as the boss needs to exercise care in giving benefits and assigning work to the subordinates with an aim to avoid comparison.

The new employee expects home conditions at office, which may not possible. In the office environment boss and subordinate positions and persons are fixed, where as at home only chairs are fixed but not persons. Any family member can occupy any chair depending upon the issue to be resolved. For a picnic issue the child becomes the boss and all other take the role of subordinates.

Every employee has to understand that a subordinate’s duty is to implement the instruction of the boss and suggest in case the instruction / decision appears to him as wrong. Boss duty is to receive such suggestions, scrutiny them with open ness and implement them if they are genuine

Since boss is the person to face the consequences, it is up to him to proceed with or without the suggestion. The organization gives him higher salary & power to brush aside the suggestions / decisions of subordinates.

Boss, who is exposed to more data or information and is at higher plane, can see the things better. Some times right decision of the boss may appear as wrong for the subordinate due to his lower plane.

The decision taken by the boss, ignoring the right suggestion of the subordinate, may go wrong. Right decision becomes wrong and vice versa in a changing environment, time and available inputs. Some times we suffer due to wrong decisions taken by our political bosses and parents.  No one can take all the time all the right decisions. It is also a learning process to him. Every one believes his decision is wise and accurate before implementation. Results only prove how far he is right.

In a group activity overall goal/target/product is set by team leader. He breaks the total work in to smaller manageable parts and assigns them to the subordinates. The goal of the individual is to execute the given task with efficiency. The individual should not focus on the result or the application of the end product. Every one’s right ends at the edge of his nose. Creativity or wisdom has to be applied to the work of his domain.

If the subordinate is confident or sure that his suggestion can prevent the failure he has right to cross the boss and reach higher ups. But one should be ready to bear more pain of confronting the boss and / or ignorance at the higher level too.

Organization over all behavior is complex & dynamic in terms of

v     Flow of incoming and out going managers

v     Number of managers & Varying psychologies/culture of them

v     Policies and managers perception about them.

It is a jigsaw puzzle for the beginner. Many cultural clashes with subordinates and superiors take place. Age and experience of the subordinates do not allow a fresh & young employee as a boss.  One cannot expect a parental care from the boss. If at all one gets it, it is luck. One’s own good behavior can save him from this messiness. Learning work, organizational goals and rules is a must. Strong theoretical knowledge, practical skills, good behavior, striving for goals and adherence to rules make a beginner an indispensable worker.

“Neighbors envy owners pride” does not work here. Neighbors envy can damage your pride. Jealousy, inferiority complex or superiority complex, unhealthy competitions, comparisons do exist, wherever the growth is merit based. So snakes and ladders are inevitable. There is no guarantee that good behavior brings laurels always.  It is a game. Behind every office uniform there is a person with strengths and weaknesses. But the person with good behavior will not lack in strength, courage and wisdom to accept any failure that may come despite his best efforts.

Good leader has these A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H qualities

1. Associates with all,
2. Bears the pain at all stages,
3. Convinces all to get the job done,
4. Designs the work and human relations,
5. Engineers the scheme,
6. Fabricates
7. Guides all and
8. Happily implements

If constructive criticism of the subordinate is shunned it takes an ugly shape of speaking at wrong corners. Critic ends up criticism there it self when heard. Punishing the critic blows up the problem. Action was not taken against the critic but on the deficiency by Rama. Many administrators say “such small issue need not be brought to my notice.

Exactly on the same logic the inefficiency is dwelling. The culprit knows that no one dares to take up that small issue to higher ups.

The Victim is fixed between the inefficient system and the system administrator.

When not heard, the victim prefers to accept the inefficiency of the system, which ultimately pains the administrator.

The intention behind bringing the small issue to the notice of the administrator is not only problem solving alone but also to punish the concerned for his ignorance or irresponsibility. It is to let the culprit understand that the issue, whether small or big, never goes unnoticed from the eyes of the administrator.

Ultimately the culture of employees together constitutes a professionally managed organization. Other wise negative emotions like favoritism, nepotism, flattery, jealousy and greediness take the control of it.